The rock of my world?

My opinion is that many women's confidence and tolerance about themselves is up and of men is down, more than anytime in history before.

The difference of once upon a time and now is "purpose".

Once upon a time there was more religious purpose, whereas now that is less and the "me" religion is more in the focus.

Are men to blame for this? IMHO yes !! to a large degree.

To Men I say, wise up. To Women I say, do not forget your true purpose.

Working well together

celebrating that long?

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks, "Do you know her?" "Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My Goodness", says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

how desperate ?

The new perfume

The word is spreading- "Listen" is the magic word

I love this. Somehow I do not get tired of the subject of communication. The key to begin communication is to listen, listen , listen and truly listen.

I hope I've reached 1 more person with this post.

Changing Attitudes? I hope so.

I stepped out of my sister's house into the pouring rain and made my way down the driveway. I had spent the day with her in Monsey and was now heading home to Boro Park. It was pitch dark and I was glad to step into the van that provided a door- to-door service from Monsey to Boro Park. The van was full except for one seat in the middle row. I sat down thankfully, glad to be on my way. I was tired from a full day of helping my sister prepare for a simcha and was thankful to be able to doze off.

Behin! d me two women were deeply engrossed in a conversation. I am not a curious person by nature and therefore paid no particular attention to their discussion. Suddenly I heard one of the women raise her voice and ask, "What do you think about the fact that these people are the parents of two children who are unwell, both physically and mentally? Would you let it bother you?"
Here I admit, I did perk up my ears and, although I looked straight ahead nonchalantly at the highway that unrolled in front of us for miles like a black ribbon, I sat upright and listened intently.

"She is a wonderful girl and everything that we are looking for. We are going to meet her parents at the end of the week. I have a strong feeling that this will end in a shidduch between their daughter and our son Moishe. Call it womanly intuition if you must."

Her companion answered, " I think you have the right attitude. This is something to which none o! f us are assured immunity. Why should a girl who is something special, be rejected because of her siblings' condition? It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not something they chose! It was the work of Hashem and He never makes mistakes. Besides these two sons, they have a family of beautiful, healthy children, most of whom are married with lovely children of their own. Who are you, or for that matter, who am I, to judge what the future will bring? If it is bashert, it should be with great mazel and bracha!"

The first woman then related a story about a shidduch where the vort was about to take place, when the father of the kallah discovered that the chassan had a sibling with Down Syndrome. He was so upset and felt so "cheated" that no one had informed him that he refused to allow the engagement to take place! The boy later married a wonderful girl and this man's daughter did not find her basherte for many years. When she finally did marry, her first ! child was born with Down Syndrome.

Following this conversation, there was silence in the car. My cheeks were wet, partially from the raindrops still dripping off my rain hat, but there was another reason too. I was weeping silently with joy as I contemplated the great changes in attitude that have taken place in the years since my first two sons were born over thirty years ago and suffered massive brain injury due to lack of oxygen. After working with them for many years with little or no results, they had to be placed in an institution and I thought my world had come to an end. People did not speak about them in those days. It was a subject to be ignored, and we were very much alone. Now, thirty five years and many healthy, wonderful children later Boruch Hashem, I see, hear and read that it is a changed world. Our disabled children have emerged, and the subject is no longer taboo. There is sharing and caring out there. There is a greater understandin! g and acceptance, and even hands stretched out in assistance.

When we reached the outskirts of Boro Park the driver asked me for my address. I hastily gave an address some ten blocks away from my home and I got out of the van into the downpour that had not abated. I pulled down my rain hat discreetly and murmured a "good-night" keeping my head averted.
You see, dear reader, the lady sitting in the back of the van was scheduled to come meet my husband and myself at the end of the week to discuss the shidduch between our children, their son and our lovely daughter! Although I had heard wonderful things about her, I had never met her. My instincts, too, told me that this shidduch would come to fruition.

I did not want her to recognize me!

Anonymous.

P.S The children are now happily married and I never told my machateneste about that trip and the conversati! on I overheard on the van.

The prescription

A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy -- I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Do I have a Girl for You!

A shadchan corners a yeshiva bochur and says, "Do I have a girl for you!"

"Not interested," replies the bochur.

"But she's beautiful!"

"Yeah?" says the bochur.

"Yes. And she's very rich too."

"Really?"

"And she has great yichus! From a very fine family."

"Sounds great." says the bochur. "But why would a girl like that want to marry me? She'd have to be crazy."

Replies the shadchan, "Well, you can't have everything!"

A true story about Positive Behavior

A Story for Valentine's Day By Jo Ann Larsen

Larry and Jo Ann were an ordinary couple. They lived in an ordinary house on an ordinary street. Like any other ordinary couple, they struggled to make ends meet and to do the right things for their children.
They were ordinary in yet another way — they had their squabbles. Much of their conversation concerned what was wrong in their marriage and who was to blame.
Until one day when a most extraordinary event took place.
"You know, Jo Ann, I've got a magic chest of drawers. Every time I open them, they're full of socks and underwear," Larry said. "I want to thank you for filling them all these years."
Jo Ann stared at her husband over the top of her glasses. "What do you want, Larry?"
"Nothing. I just want you to know I appreciate those magic drawers."
This wasn't the first time Larry had done something odd, so Jo Ann pushed the incident out of her mind until a few days later.
"Jo Ann, thank you for recording so many correct check numbers in the ledger this month. You put down the right numbers 15 out of 16 times. That's a record."
Disbelieving what she had heard, Jo Ann looked up from her mending. "Larry, you're always complaining about my recording the wrong check numbers. Why stop now?"
"No reason. I just wanted you to know I appreciate the effort you're making."
Jo Ann shook her head and went back to her mending. "What's got into him?" she mumbled to herself.
Nevertheless, the next day when Jo Ann wrote a check at the grocery store, she glanced at her checkbook to confirm that she had put down the right check number. "Why do I suddenly care about those dumb check numbers?" she asked herself.
She tried to disregard the incident, but Larry's strange behavior intensified.
"Jo Ann, that was a great dinner," he said one evening. "I appreciate all your effort. Why, in the past 15 years I'll bet you've fixed over 14,000 meals for me and the kids."
Then "Gee, Jo Ann, the house looks spiffy. You've really worked hard to get it looking so good." And even "Thanks, Jo Ann, for just being you. I really enjoy your company."
Jo Ann was growing worried. "Where's the sarcasm, the criticism?" she wondered.
Her fears that something peculiar was happening to her husband were confirmed by 16-year-old Shelly, who complained, "Dad's gone bonkers, Mom. He just told me I looked nice. With all this makeup and these sloppy clothes, he still said it. That's not Dad, Mom. What's wrong with him?"
Whatever was wrong, Larry didn't get over it. Day in and day out he continued focusing on the positive.
Over the weeks, Jo Ann grew more accustomed to her mate's unusual behavior and occasionally even gave him a grudging "Thank you." She prided herself on taking it all in stride, until one day something so peculiar happened, she became completely discombobulated:
"I want you to take a break," Larry said. "I am going to do the dishes. So please take your hands off that frying pan and leave the kitchen."
(Long, long pause.) "Thank you, Larry. Thank you very much!"
Jo Ann's step was now a little lighter, her self-confidence higher and once in a while she hummed. She didn't seem to have as many blue moods anymore. "I rather like Larry's new behavior," she thought.
That would be the end of the story except one day another most extraordinary event took place. This time it was Jo Ann who spoke.
"Larry," she said, "I want to thank you for going to work and providing for us all these years. I don't think I've ever told you how much I appreciate it."
Larry has never revealed the reason for his dramatic change of behavior no matter how hard Jo Ann has pushed for an answer, and so it will likely remain one of life's mysteries. But it's one I'm thankful to live with.
You see, I am Jo Ann.

Reprinted by permission of Jo Ann Larsen (c) 1992 from Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. In order to protect the rights of the copyright holder, no portion of this publication may be reproduced without prior written consent. All rights reserved.

Judge OKs wall for splittin' spouses

Judge OKs wall for splittin' spouses

By JOTHAM SEDERSTROM DAILY NEWS WRITER

It's the "War of the Roses," Brooklyn-style.
A judge has ordered a soon-to-be divorced couple to live unhappily ever after in the Borough Park home they shared for 18 years - by having a wall built smack dab in the middle of their dining room.

Millionaire sweater manufacturer Simon Taub was granted permission during divorce proceedings in August to divide the home with sheetrock walls, so he wouldn't have to relinquish it to wife, Chana Taub.

Simon, 57, would have his own kitchen, bedroom and bathroom in a 900-square-foot area on two floors of the 49th St. home.

"I don't wish this on anybody," said Chana Taub, 56, whose husband owns homes across the borough, including the house next door. "I hope God will help, and somebody will straighten out this whole thing."

Chana Taub has appealed Judge Sarah Krauss' ruling. But if the decision is upheld, the former lovebirds could be walking into the same home, divided in two - just like in the 1989 film starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner.

The wall drama began in August when Krauss granted the wife an order of protection against Simon Taub, who owns TechKnits Inc. of Williamsburg.

But citing the husband's heart condition, Krauss approved his bid to build the wall, saying, "I am not going to be excluding him entirely from his home.

"The best way to deal with this is to split the home," Krauss said, according to court documents - even though the husband owns the house next door.

Krauss, who recused herself in December following objections from Chana Taub's attorney, Susan Settenbrino, also offered a court-mandated outline for postmatrimonial bliss.

"Neither party shall interfere with any of the electrical, plumbing, phones or other systems located in their respective portions of the marital residence," Krauss wrote.

"No litigant should have to endure this kind of abuse," Settenbrino said of Krauss' decision. "There should be recourse for such orders without having to spend $200,000 [on the appeal]."

Simon Taub's attorney, Frank Snitow, said the wall would separate portions of two floors, but only give about 25% of the home to his client.

Snitow cited the home's proximity to Simon's doctor's office, a nearby synagogue and his four kids, two of whom still live in the house with his wife. "I don't think it's an extraordinary measure under these circumstances," he said. "This is one of the largest homes in Borough Park. You could even call it a mansion."

Talk about messed up. IMHO all the way from the judge, lawyer, to the participants this is about revenge and all.

Hashem should help us all.

~ Let's Wear Purple Hats! ~

In honor of women's history month and in memory of Erma Bombeck who lost her fight with cancer, here is an angel sent to watch over you. Pass this on to five women that you want watched over. If you don't know five women to pass this on to, one will do just fine.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's," and more "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it ... live it ..and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff.

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with, and what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally. I hope you all have a blessed day.


Beautiful Women's Month
Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.

Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mom I can't go to school looking like this!)

Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly"- but decides she's going out anyway.

Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's go ing out anyway.

Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "clean" and goes out anyway.

Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes wherever she wants to go.

Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.

Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life.

Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.

* * * * * * * * *

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." (Will Rogers )

we need a mensch

Frumster came up with this real catchy animation.

Would anybody care to share their experiences from that site?

Dad's Automotive Guide To Women

To Be 6 Again

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park.

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her __expression suddenly changed.

I meant my dress size, you dumb ass!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.


Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..

You can do Holiday shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

He said She said * He heard She heard

Single By Choice One Man's Gripe

Single By Choice
One Man's Gripe
Women keep upgrading their formula for Mr. Right
By WALTER KIRN

Aug. 28, 2000

Whatever it is that women want in men, two things are certain: a) it changes annually, and b) women never seem to find it. In the '70s, they looked for sensitivity. Then came a backlash. Strength was the ideal; then strength and sensitivity combined. And a willingness to commit, of course--without being clingy. Clinginess was fatal. A little success and power were welcome too, as long as the man in question wasn't controlling. Now, it seems that what's wanted is a soul mate, a sort of buff Buddha who's terrific in bed, who's on top of his health, his finances and emotions and can serve in a pinch as a spiritual adviser. It's a testimony to women's romantic natures that they really believe such men exist out there.
Human mating wasn't always this complicated. When it came to attracting a woman's interest, it used to be easy for a guy: get a good job and use deodorant. To be considered promising-husband material, a man didn't even have to be good-looking; he just had to have a job--and use deodorant. That was my father's world. It disappeared some time between the Beatles and the Eagles and didn't return. What replaced it was a shopping list. A long one, always subject to revision and spur-of-the-moment additions and deletions--the sort of list that women bring to supermarkets.
I once dated a woman, a New York artist, who went through her checklist for me, point by point. Her dream man needed to earn more money than she did--50% more, to be exact. He had to have a wide and varied social circle drawn from the city's upper echelons. Last, he had to be in therapy--not just any form of therapy, mind you, but classical Freudian therapy. I was flummoxed. Because I liked the woman, I set to work remaking myself according to her outline, but midway through my self-improvement drive, she dropped me cold. I was trying too hard, she said. My question to her was, Why would any man slave for riches, cultivate snobbish friends and lie down twice a week on a shrink's couch except to impress some woman? She couldn't answer this.
What hasn't changed over all these years is what men want in women. If the drama of sexual interest is a dance, it's a dance with a broomstick, men being the broomstick. They stand there, staring at a woman's chest, while the woman whirls around in circles, making requests and ticking off conditions. Come closer. No, give me space. Commit. Back off. Toughen up. Soften up. Lighten up. Get serious. It's enough to drive a guy to drink, but unfortunately contemporary women no longer find hard-drinking men attractive. This too will change, though.
In the meantime, men will continue to mold themselves to fit the ideal of the moment. Witness Al Gore. In his quest to attract the women's vote, he has tried everything from empathy to aggression, sports jackets to polo shirts. Poor thing. By trying to look strong, he risks appearing weak--a mistake I made once myself. I'm wiser now. Whatever it is that women want in men, they'll want something different next year, with one exception. They'll always prefer guys who use deodorant.
Walter Kirn is married

Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0

Dear Tech Support:

Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4, and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all-purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness.

Can you help, please!!
Sincerely, XXX

-------------------------------------

Dear XXX:

This is a very common problem women complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with the idea that Husband 1.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.

However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.

Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolate 7.8.

TECH TIP!

Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5 or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!

Just remember, the system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3, and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.

After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2, and BestFriend 7.6. A final word of caution! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherinLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherinLaw 1.0 is uninstalled. I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0, and we here at Tech Support wish you luck.

Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0

Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER

-------------------------------------

Dear TROUBLED USER:

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal.

The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support