To let it go in one ear and out the other

I WAS interviewing a jeweler for a story I was writing on giving new life to old jewelry, and I asked him to tell me about his most memorable client. "It was a divorced woman who had me make a pair of earrings from her inscribed wedding band," he recalled. "One earring read, 'with all' and the other, 'my love.' "When I asked why she had wanted it done that way, she answered, 'To remind me the next time anyone said that to me, to let it go in one ear and out the other.'"

--Contributed to "All In a Day's Work"

Always Proof Read

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,

"We missed the "R" ! , We missed the "R" !"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was...

CELEBRATE!!!"

Too many temptations?

IMHO, women do have power over men. What is critical is how and for what they use it. They do not have to legally rule the world. They do not have to be malicious or vicious to "rule" the world. G-D gave them plenty of power to influence.

So why are women not "ruling" the world? Why are they part of the "temptations" of the world?

I have found that many women are just clueless and have very low esteem. If you are a true religious woman who values Torah the blueprint of life, get someone truly knowledgeable about what the Torah says about women and you will never have to look back.

If you do not value the advice of Torah, find someone who does value Torah and have them share the wisdom of Torah to help you become a true person and a true influence.

Hopeless?

If you know someone in a situation like this, prompt them, strengthen them, encourage them, help them in any way to move forward.

The dating process needs all the help and little steps it can get.

Make a difference!!

Tie them ?

In the 1st year of college?

Breaking up with an australopithecine ......

Male/Female Definitions!

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes look bigger." male: what you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n female: A desire to get married and raise a family. male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. female: A good movie, concert, play or book. male: Anything that can be done while drinking

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion. male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another. male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2&1/2 min.

THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

Married to oneself?

Why is the me more prevalent than ever before?

Married to pets?

AT A SUPERMARKET, I overheard two women talking in the next aisle. "Horace and I have been together ten years now and he makes me very happy," one said. "So I don't mind buying him what he likes even if it is more expensive."
"Well, with my Benny I have no choice. He's just plain fussy," her friend replied.
I turned into their aisle. Both women were loading their shopping carts with high-quality cat food.

--Contributed to "Life In These United States"

I want to date someone else

What is dating? Hasidic/Ultra-orthodox version

Wow. The simple ultimate question!

Even some of the Ultra-Orthodox Jews are having this problem. Once upon a time and still in Hasidic circles, it began where each set of parents would meet the parents and prospective boy/girl in their home territory. So the girl's parents would come over to the boy's home and meet the parents and boy and shmooze for a while. Afterwards the parents would leave the boy alone with the girl's parents so that they can get a direct question and answer session with the boy. The same scenario would play out with the boy's parents and the girl.

If "all was well", then the real date began. The real date was where the boy's parents and the boy came over to the girl's house and everyone sat down at the table to shoomze. When the timing was correct, all parents would leave the room, leaving the boy and girl for a direct conversation time alone.

Nowadays where "looks" are more important than ever before, and the girl gets first say, the "dating" scenario is quite different. Since pictures never tell the true story, and to do it the way it was done would be considered a date, there is now a pre-date date. So for example if the girl is from Boro Park, the boy is told to be in Eihlers store on 50th and 13th Ave at a set time to technically meet the boy. What of course also happens, is that the mother and the girl are there too, so that the girl can size up the boy.

Therefore if the girl does not approve of the boy, there was never a date!

Is this pre-date dating correct? The purpose of the "old-and still current method" was to not cause any embarrassment to anyone. By going public this way, and to not call it a date, is embarrassment now allowed or not to be considered?

Isn't the purpose of dating to just to get to know the other? Isn't dating so that one should truly be able to make a educated lifetime choice?

Why has dating become a dirty word? Why has a "process" become a failure?

In order for anything we plant to grow we all know that the seed in the ground rots before it becomes a new growth. Even what we call "failures", is truly only a process. Why are we fearing fear itself?

What fear does is paralyze. Let's not continue to paralyze ourselves before we even begin life.

Parents or Friends?

When is one to trust the parents or friends? Then again, facts don't change?

Bad time for Compliments?

One of the simplest and easiest present one can give the other is a compliment.

Why is this one of the most ignored if not the most ignored "present"? Why is there a war between the sexes of who should be the first to compliment? Why is there a ego war, if one is truly claiming to look for love?

Are we looking for love or are we looking for lust and an ego lift?

Are we looking to survive and just exist, or are we looking to live?

When is the game of blame going to stop and the game of life going to begin?

Hashem help us all

Hugging is a means.....

RELATIONSHIPS

The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation--or a relationship.
Deborah Tannen
Communications Expert


Hugging is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other.
Author unknown

Jokes and Puns

Is it so that women "appreciate" jokes less than men? Do women take jokes more personally than men?

If so, why do men continue to do so? Can they help themselves or not? Is it that hard or do they just not get it?

Is it the "quality" of the jokes or is this one of the major gender differences?

BBQ etiquette

After 4 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman buys the food.

2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5) The woman then goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.

He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils,napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Spare time dating?

My experience as a matchmaker,especially in the jewish modern orthodox dating scene, has found that close to 85% will date in their "spare time". Their reason for marriage is to enhance the already enhanced pleasures of life.

The thought therefore follows that, that "little more" enhancement is really not that important. Therefore, spare time dating.

Insane chicks code of ethics?

Must have a pretty face?

What I find more perplexing than anything, is that it's the women who keep declaring that they must pretty!

Then again, in those circles that it is true and perpetuated, what can one say?