Four Jewish ladies were sitting around playing Mah Jongg. The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all for such a long time, and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a kleptomaniac. But don't worry, I have never stolen from any of you and never will. We have been friends for too long."
One of the other ladies says, "Well, since we are having true confessions, I am a nymphomaniac, but don't worry. I have not hit on any of your husbands, and never will, they don't interest me. We have been friends for too long."
"Well", says the third lady, "I too must confess. The reason I never married is that I am a lesbian, but don't worry. I will never hit on any of you. We have been friends for too long, and I don't want to ruin our friendship."
The fourth lady stands up and says, "I have a confession to make also. I am
a yenta, so please excuse me; I have a lot of calls to make."
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Yitzi's "new idea"
Hi,
I have an idea and I'm emailing you because I need at least 1000 frum Jews like you in from the start to make it work. You are receiving this because either I got your email address from a chain mail or a friend is forwarding this to you.
My idea is a way to make 1000 shiduchim in less then one year!!
Don’t think this is a non-starter because my idea makes every bit of sense if you can care to read on and further care to be one of the first to make it happen!
First of all a shiduch doesn’t mean a definite match. A shiduch can simply also mean a date which is also an accomplishment for many. So with that in mind, I think if we make this work we can make well over 10,000 shiduchim! But in truth, I think that with BSD and enough achdus… what we can achieve is to actually make 1000 definite matches and more!
My idea.
My idea is your idea, let’s all 1000 of us get together and suggest ideas to each other about pairing up single friends of ours! Have you heard of myspace.com? Well I’ll make a website modeled on their platform with a neat design and user interface and when the start date comes we will all register an account… well actually, let me take you through it clearly.
1 You register an account. You are now officially a ‘Shadchan’.
You have to show everyone your name and keep it real. You tell everyone just a little about yourself… i.e. your age, gender, marital status and thoughts about the movement.
2 You post the real or nick-names of 5 friends of yours, and you try to profile them to the best of your ability, perhaps even with a private picture. We can talk more on that.
Most of you will have more then 5 friends. These friends are now officially ‘Clients’ and there is no limit to how many friends you have so long you pay attention to them all.
3 You browse other ''shadchanim’s'' ''clients'' and flag one that you think will be suitable for one of your clients. When that shadchan logs in next, he will see your flag and follow the link to your client’s profile. Likewise when you log in and see one of your clients flagged, you will look into the idea and take it from there.
What we need to start is a minimum of 1000 frum Jews, men, women, guys and girls, married and single, from more then 30 different cities around the world. Frum in Yiddish generally means religious but frum in German still means sincere and if we are all sincere we can make it work. If each member would post a minimum of 5 friends then it would perhaps make our little project the biggest shiduch list in the world and the most attended to list too! What’s more shadchanim and clients would double in numbers in a matter of days!
Why do we need 1000? Because the best way to get enough people’s attention is to start with a BANG. And that is what the shiduch and tobacco industry needs, a very big BANG! Imagine all smokers started growing their own tobacco! Also, starting small would minimize your interest in participating from the very start and the communal effort may come to a halt.
My idea is that we can and we should all be shadchanim, no matter what our situation is! Being a Shadchan is not a profession, it’s simply about being the person to be in the right place at the right time, hearing the right thing and acting on it.
With our new website platform, all that will be made possible for anyone and everyone. All you would need to do is log in every day for a few minutes or every few days and see how you can help you friends, knowing there are other shadchanim out there trying to help their friends. If you’re married, you owe to your single friends and family knowing the feeling and if you’re single yourself, helping your single friends is the best way of drawing attention from HaShem!
So you might be wondering …nu, what’s the idea... there are already lots of dating sites that the frum singles themselves can post their own profiles on and interact with other members and decide for themselves? ...So, know… these sites are great, and some have even made a few hundred shidduchim… but in the meantime shadchanim between themselves are much more successful because the concept of a shadchan is a very ancient one… right from the Torah…
The Gemara says Moshe Rabeinu atop Har Sinai was Hashem’s Shadchan to Kllal Yisroel and that Aaron Hakohen half way up/down the mountain was Kllal Yisroel’s Shadchan to HaShem. The Torah was the Kesubah so that is a source for the minhag of a shadchan, in fact two shadchanim, just the way it will be with our website.
As of the October 19th, we already have 124 members from 8 cities! They are from New York, Lakewood, LA, Chicago, London, Jerusalem, Bet Shemesh and Modein Ilit. We aim for 500 in one week. Please make this happen and take this to your part of the world!!
So if you are in, please send an email to yitzifeiner@yahoo.com saying “I’m in” and I’ll keep you up to date. In the meantime you can email with any ideas.
Please also forward this message to as many friends as possible, that’s what spreads the word!
Thank you!
Yitzi
NY
I have an idea and I'm emailing you because I need at least 1000 frum Jews like you in from the start to make it work. You are receiving this because either I got your email address from a chain mail or a friend is forwarding this to you.
My idea is a way to make 1000 shiduchim in less then one year!!
Don’t think this is a non-starter because my idea makes every bit of sense if you can care to read on and further care to be one of the first to make it happen!
First of all a shiduch doesn’t mean a definite match. A shiduch can simply also mean a date which is also an accomplishment for many. So with that in mind, I think if we make this work we can make well over 10,000 shiduchim! But in truth, I think that with BSD and enough achdus… what we can achieve is to actually make 1000 definite matches and more!
My idea.
My idea is your idea, let’s all 1000 of us get together and suggest ideas to each other about pairing up single friends of ours! Have you heard of myspace.com? Well I’ll make a website modeled on their platform with a neat design and user interface and when the start date comes we will all register an account… well actually, let me take you through it clearly.
1 You register an account. You are now officially a ‘Shadchan’.
You have to show everyone your name and keep it real. You tell everyone just a little about yourself… i.e. your age, gender, marital status and thoughts about the movement.
2 You post the real or nick-names of 5 friends of yours, and you try to profile them to the best of your ability, perhaps even with a private picture. We can talk more on that.
Most of you will have more then 5 friends. These friends are now officially ‘Clients’ and there is no limit to how many friends you have so long you pay attention to them all.
3 You browse other ''shadchanim’s'' ''clients'' and flag one that you think will be suitable for one of your clients. When that shadchan logs in next, he will see your flag and follow the link to your client’s profile. Likewise when you log in and see one of your clients flagged, you will look into the idea and take it from there.
What we need to start is a minimum of 1000 frum Jews, men, women, guys and girls, married and single, from more then 30 different cities around the world. Frum in Yiddish generally means religious but frum in German still means sincere and if we are all sincere we can make it work. If each member would post a minimum of 5 friends then it would perhaps make our little project the biggest shiduch list in the world and the most attended to list too! What’s more shadchanim and clients would double in numbers in a matter of days!
Why do we need 1000? Because the best way to get enough people’s attention is to start with a BANG. And that is what the shiduch and tobacco industry needs, a very big BANG! Imagine all smokers started growing their own tobacco! Also, starting small would minimize your interest in participating from the very start and the communal effort may come to a halt.
My idea is that we can and we should all be shadchanim, no matter what our situation is! Being a Shadchan is not a profession, it’s simply about being the person to be in the right place at the right time, hearing the right thing and acting on it.
With our new website platform, all that will be made possible for anyone and everyone. All you would need to do is log in every day for a few minutes or every few days and see how you can help you friends, knowing there are other shadchanim out there trying to help their friends. If you’re married, you owe to your single friends and family knowing the feeling and if you’re single yourself, helping your single friends is the best way of drawing attention from HaShem!
So you might be wondering …nu, what’s the idea... there are already lots of dating sites that the frum singles themselves can post their own profiles on and interact with other members and decide for themselves? ...So, know… these sites are great, and some have even made a few hundred shidduchim… but in the meantime shadchanim between themselves are much more successful because the concept of a shadchan is a very ancient one… right from the Torah…
The Gemara says Moshe Rabeinu atop Har Sinai was Hashem’s Shadchan to Kllal Yisroel and that Aaron Hakohen half way up/down the mountain was Kllal Yisroel’s Shadchan to HaShem. The Torah was the Kesubah so that is a source for the minhag of a shadchan, in fact two shadchanim, just the way it will be with our website.
As of the October 19th, we already have 124 members from 8 cities! They are from New York, Lakewood, LA, Chicago, London, Jerusalem, Bet Shemesh and Modein Ilit. We aim for 500 in one week. Please make this happen and take this to your part of the world!!
So if you are in, please send an email to yitzifeiner@yahoo.com saying “I’m in” and I’ll keep you up to date. In the meantime you can email with any ideas.
Please also forward this message to as many friends as possible, that’s what spreads the word!
Thank you!
Yitzi
NY
Monday, October 23, 2006
The DOVE self esteem fund
got this in an email
Watch this transformation.
"No wonder our perception of beauty is so distorted."
Watch this transformation.
"No wonder our perception of beauty is so distorted."
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Let the women go shopping
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I will give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?" "No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked "No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this at a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked. "Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight. The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting. "The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I will give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?" "No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked "No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this at a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked. "Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight. The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting. "The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
A Jewish mother and her daughter
The phone rings. JEWISH MOTHER picks up the phone and answers
Jewish Mother
Hello?
Daughter
Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?
Jewish Mother
You're going out?
Daughter
Yes.
Jewish Mother
With whom?
Daughter
With a friend.
Jewish Mother
I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.
Daughter
I didn't leave him. He left me!
Jewish Mother
You let him leave you. And now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.
Daughter
I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?
Jewish Mother
I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.
Daughter
There are lots of things that you did and I don't.
Jewish Mother
What are you hinting at?
Daughter
Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.
Jewish Mother
You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if
he finds out?
Daughter
My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left
me, he probably never slept alone!
Jewish Mother
So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?
Daughter
He's not a loser.
Jewish Mother
A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser.
Daughter
I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?
Jewish Mother
Poor children with such a mother.
Daughter
Such a what?
Jewish Mother
With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.
Daughter
ENOUGH!!!
Jewish Mother
Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too!
Daughter
Now you're worried about the loser?
Jewish Mother
Ah, so you see he is a loser. I spotted him immediately.
Daughter
Goodbye, mother.
Jewish Mother
Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over?
Daughter
I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!
Jewish Mother
If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?
Jewish Mother
Hello?
Daughter
Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?
Jewish Mother
You're going out?
Daughter
Yes.
Jewish Mother
With whom?
Daughter
With a friend.
Jewish Mother
I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.
Daughter
I didn't leave him. He left me!
Jewish Mother
You let him leave you. And now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.
Daughter
I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?
Jewish Mother
I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.
Daughter
There are lots of things that you did and I don't.
Jewish Mother
What are you hinting at?
Daughter
Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.
Jewish Mother
You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if
he finds out?
Daughter
My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left
me, he probably never slept alone!
Jewish Mother
So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?
Daughter
He's not a loser.
Jewish Mother
A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser.
Daughter
I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?
Jewish Mother
Poor children with such a mother.
Daughter
Such a what?
Jewish Mother
With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.
Daughter
ENOUGH!!!
Jewish Mother
Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too!
Daughter
Now you're worried about the loser?
Jewish Mother
Ah, so you see he is a loser. I spotted him immediately.
Daughter
Goodbye, mother.
Jewish Mother
Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over?
Daughter
I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!
Jewish Mother
If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?
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