DEAF WIFE....."priceless "

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A man  feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.   Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.        The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the  doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. "Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.   If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until  you get a response."  That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away,  let's see what happens."          Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response.. So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey,  what's for dinner?"  Still no response.  Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet  from his wife and asks, "Honey,  what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response. So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for  dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her.  "Honey,  what's for dinner?"  (I just love this)  "Ralph,  for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"

Dear Tech Support:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

--Desperate

 ***

Dear Desperate,

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance.  I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.

Good Luck! Tech Support

.................... is the chief cause of divorce

Groucho Marx:
"Marriage is the chief cause of divorce."

Marriage and Love

Marriage...Marriage is an institution. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.Love...When we know to read our own hearts, we acquire wisdom of thehearts of others