Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The rock of my world?



My opinion is that many women's confidence and tolerance about themselves is up and of men is down, more than anytime in history before.

The difference of once upon a time and now is "purpose".

Once upon a time there was more religious purpose, whereas now that is less and the "me" religion is more in the focus.

Are men to blame for this? IMHO yes !! to a large degree.

To Men I say, wise up. To Women I say, do not forget your true purpose.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Working well together

celebrating that long?

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks, "Do you know her?" "Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My Goodness", says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

Thursday, February 16, 2006

The word is spreading- "Listen" is the magic word



I love this. Somehow I do not get tired of the subject of communication. The key to begin communication is to listen, listen , listen and truly listen.

I hope I've reached 1 more person with this post.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Changing Attitudes? I hope so.

I stepped out of my sister's house into the pouring rain and made my way down the driveway. I had spent the day with her in Monsey and was now heading home to Boro Park. It was pitch dark and I was glad to step into the van that provided a door- to-door service from Monsey to Boro Park. The van was full except for one seat in the middle row. I sat down thankfully, glad to be on my way. I was tired from a full day of helping my sister prepare for a simcha and was thankful to be able to doze off.

Behin! d me two women were deeply engrossed in a conversation. I am not a curious person by nature and therefore paid no particular attention to their discussion. Suddenly I heard one of the women raise her voice and ask, "What do you think about the fact that these people are the parents of two children who are unwell, both physically and mentally? Would you let it bother you?"
Here I admit, I did perk up my ears and, although I looked straight ahead nonchalantly at the highway that unrolled in front of us for miles like a black ribbon, I sat upright and listened intently.

"She is a wonderful girl and everything that we are looking for. We are going to meet her parents at the end of the week. I have a strong feeling that this will end in a shidduch between their daughter and our son Moishe. Call it womanly intuition if you must."

Her companion answered, " I think you have the right attitude. This is something to which none o! f us are assured immunity. Why should a girl who is something special, be rejected because of her siblings' condition? It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not something they chose! It was the work of Hashem and He never makes mistakes. Besides these two sons, they have a family of beautiful, healthy children, most of whom are married with lovely children of their own. Who are you, or for that matter, who am I, to judge what the future will bring? If it is bashert, it should be with great mazel and bracha!"

The first woman then related a story about a shidduch where the vort was about to take place, when the father of the kallah discovered that the chassan had a sibling with Down Syndrome. He was so upset and felt so "cheated" that no one had informed him that he refused to allow the engagement to take place! The boy later married a wonderful girl and this man's daughter did not find her basherte for many years. When she finally did marry, her first ! child was born with Down Syndrome.

Following this conversation, there was silence in the car. My cheeks were wet, partially from the raindrops still dripping off my rain hat, but there was another reason too. I was weeping silently with joy as I contemplated the great changes in attitude that have taken place in the years since my first two sons were born over thirty years ago and suffered massive brain injury due to lack of oxygen. After working with them for many years with little or no results, they had to be placed in an institution and I thought my world had come to an end. People did not speak about them in those days. It was a subject to be ignored, and we were very much alone. Now, thirty five years and many healthy, wonderful children later Boruch Hashem, I see, hear and read that it is a changed world. Our disabled children have emerged, and the subject is no longer taboo. There is sharing and caring out there. There is a greater understandin! g and acceptance, and even hands stretched out in assistance.

When we reached the outskirts of Boro Park the driver asked me for my address. I hastily gave an address some ten blocks away from my home and I got out of the van into the downpour that had not abated. I pulled down my rain hat discreetly and murmured a "good-night" keeping my head averted.
You see, dear reader, the lady sitting in the back of the van was scheduled to come meet my husband and myself at the end of the week to discuss the shidduch between our children, their son and our lovely daughter! Although I had heard wonderful things about her, I had never met her. My instincts, too, told me that this shidduch would come to fruition.

I did not want her to recognize me!

Anonymous.

P.S The children are now happily married and I never told my machateneste about that trip and the conversati! on I overheard on the van.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The prescription

A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy -- I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Do I have a Girl for You!

A shadchan corners a yeshiva bochur and says, "Do I have a girl for you!"

"Not interested," replies the bochur.

"But she's beautiful!"

"Yeah?" says the bochur.

"Yes. And she's very rich too."

"Really?"

"And she has great yichus! From a very fine family."

"Sounds great." says the bochur. "But why would a girl like that want to marry me? She'd have to be crazy."

Replies the shadchan, "Well, you can't have everything!"

A true story about Positive Behavior

A Story for Valentine's Day By Jo Ann Larsen

Larry and Jo Ann were an ordinary couple. They lived in an ordinary house on an ordinary street. Like any other ordinary couple, they struggled to make ends meet and to do the right things for their children.
They were ordinary in yet another way — they had their squabbles. Much of their conversation concerned what was wrong in their marriage and who was to blame.
Until one day when a most extraordinary event took place.
"You know, Jo Ann, I've got a magic chest of drawers. Every time I open them, they're full of socks and underwear," Larry said. "I want to thank you for filling them all these years."
Jo Ann stared at her husband over the top of her glasses. "What do you want, Larry?"
"Nothing. I just want you to know I appreciate those magic drawers."
This wasn't the first time Larry had done something odd, so Jo Ann pushed the incident out of her mind until a few days later.
"Jo Ann, thank you for recording so many correct check numbers in the ledger this month. You put down the right numbers 15 out of 16 times. That's a record."
Disbelieving what she had heard, Jo Ann looked up from her mending. "Larry, you're always complaining about my recording the wrong check numbers. Why stop now?"
"No reason. I just wanted you to know I appreciate the effort you're making."
Jo Ann shook her head and went back to her mending. "What's got into him?" she mumbled to herself.
Nevertheless, the next day when Jo Ann wrote a check at the grocery store, she glanced at her checkbook to confirm that she had put down the right check number. "Why do I suddenly care about those dumb check numbers?" she asked herself.
She tried to disregard the incident, but Larry's strange behavior intensified.
"Jo Ann, that was a great dinner," he said one evening. "I appreciate all your effort. Why, in the past 15 years I'll bet you've fixed over 14,000 meals for me and the kids."
Then "Gee, Jo Ann, the house looks spiffy. You've really worked hard to get it looking so good." And even "Thanks, Jo Ann, for just being you. I really enjoy your company."
Jo Ann was growing worried. "Where's the sarcasm, the criticism?" she wondered.
Her fears that something peculiar was happening to her husband were confirmed by 16-year-old Shelly, who complained, "Dad's gone bonkers, Mom. He just told me I looked nice. With all this makeup and these sloppy clothes, he still said it. That's not Dad, Mom. What's wrong with him?"
Whatever was wrong, Larry didn't get over it. Day in and day out he continued focusing on the positive.
Over the weeks, Jo Ann grew more accustomed to her mate's unusual behavior and occasionally even gave him a grudging "Thank you." She prided herself on taking it all in stride, until one day something so peculiar happened, she became completely discombobulated:
"I want you to take a break," Larry said. "I am going to do the dishes. So please take your hands off that frying pan and leave the kitchen."
(Long, long pause.) "Thank you, Larry. Thank you very much!"
Jo Ann's step was now a little lighter, her self-confidence higher and once in a while she hummed. She didn't seem to have as many blue moods anymore. "I rather like Larry's new behavior," she thought.
That would be the end of the story except one day another most extraordinary event took place. This time it was Jo Ann who spoke.
"Larry," she said, "I want to thank you for going to work and providing for us all these years. I don't think I've ever told you how much I appreciate it."
Larry has never revealed the reason for his dramatic change of behavior no matter how hard Jo Ann has pushed for an answer, and so it will likely remain one of life's mysteries. But it's one I'm thankful to live with.
You see, I am Jo Ann.

Reprinted by permission of Jo Ann Larsen (c) 1992 from Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. In order to protect the rights of the copyright holder, no portion of this publication may be reproduced without prior written consent. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Judge OKs wall for splittin' spouses

Judge OKs wall for splittin' spouses

By JOTHAM SEDERSTROM DAILY NEWS WRITER

It's the "War of the Roses," Brooklyn-style.
A judge has ordered a soon-to-be divorced couple to live unhappily ever after in the Borough Park home they shared for 18 years - by having a wall built smack dab in the middle of their dining room.

Millionaire sweater manufacturer Simon Taub was granted permission during divorce proceedings in August to divide the home with sheetrock walls, so he wouldn't have to relinquish it to wife, Chana Taub.

Simon, 57, would have his own kitchen, bedroom and bathroom in a 900-square-foot area on two floors of the 49th St. home.

"I don't wish this on anybody," said Chana Taub, 56, whose husband owns homes across the borough, including the house next door. "I hope God will help, and somebody will straighten out this whole thing."

Chana Taub has appealed Judge Sarah Krauss' ruling. But if the decision is upheld, the former lovebirds could be walking into the same home, divided in two - just like in the 1989 film starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner.

The wall drama began in August when Krauss granted the wife an order of protection against Simon Taub, who owns TechKnits Inc. of Williamsburg.

But citing the husband's heart condition, Krauss approved his bid to build the wall, saying, "I am not going to be excluding him entirely from his home.

"The best way to deal with this is to split the home," Krauss said, according to court documents - even though the husband owns the house next door.

Krauss, who recused herself in December following objections from Chana Taub's attorney, Susan Settenbrino, also offered a court-mandated outline for postmatrimonial bliss.

"Neither party shall interfere with any of the electrical, plumbing, phones or other systems located in their respective portions of the marital residence," Krauss wrote.

"No litigant should have to endure this kind of abuse," Settenbrino said of Krauss' decision. "There should be recourse for such orders without having to spend $200,000 [on the appeal]."

Simon Taub's attorney, Frank Snitow, said the wall would separate portions of two floors, but only give about 25% of the home to his client.

Snitow cited the home's proximity to Simon's doctor's office, a nearby synagogue and his four kids, two of whom still live in the house with his wife. "I don't think it's an extraordinary measure under these circumstances," he said. "This is one of the largest homes in Borough Park. You could even call it a mansion."


Talk about messed up. IMHO all the way from the judge, lawyer, to the participants this is about revenge and all.

Hashem should help us all.