Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Subject: Bridal Registry

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way, they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."

Friday, June 24, 2005

What is the purpose of marriage?

I do want to get into the question of "what is the purpose of life?” What I have found, though, is that we have to ponder other fundamental questions before we ponder the BIG question.

Over the years I have asked people, what are the TOP 3 reasons to get married? I was quite amazed that very few actually had an answer. From those that did answer, it totaled close to some 20 different reasons.

People who were already married I asked the same question, but I asked them what they were thinking before marriage and what are they thinking now since that have experienced marriage.

When I coach couples to be able to communicate and to understand how the other side thinks I would usually ask them to complete a list of the 10 items in the poll (plus some ) and then I would show them each the other’s answer and where the compare and differ. Most couples were quite surprised how in the dark they had been.

What I find today more than anytime in the history and existence of this creation that in this country the options and reasons are almost non-existent.

Hope, G"W, to more actively blog about this.

Wishing all a more "purpose" Shabbos

Friday, June 10, 2005

Finding your half is a revelation?

The Mishpacha family weekly has just concluded a 3 part series about the shiduch scene, which I would recommend to read.

I found this among other observations intriguing.

Regarding whether to use one's inner voice to guide one's decision, one shadchunit expressed it this way.

"The problem with the inner voice is that it only works if you're not clouded. If you're filled with baggage from the galus of Hollywood, your inner voice is muffled. You're not going to receive a clear message. Very few people hear a clear message.

"Finding your other half is not a decision. It's a revelation. And people shouldn't be rushed or pushed in the process. NO one should ever force a person to think a certain way. You need a person that you trust, to help uncover what you really feel inside, but the final decision about what you really feel is your own. "

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Everyone needs to truly start communicating



Here is an example of what the boy &/or girl tells the Shadchun, or what the boy tell the girl, or the girl tells the boy, or what an unqualified Shadchun will tell his/her clients, or what parents and friends to whomever and what the results will end up like.

Everyone needs to truly start communicating.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Dating & Shadchunim Now vs Once upon a time

I recently attended a Sasson V'Simcha seminar of "The art of Matchmaking and Mentoring" presented by Rosie Einhorn, L.C.S.W., and Sherry Zimmerman, Esq. .

With all the knowledge and experience I have had, I found it to be immensely focused, educational, and up to date. My personal opinion is, any Shadchun or Mentor who does not attend such a seminar or equivalent (if there is one), is spinning their wheels at best, and who knows if they are not doing more harm than good.

There is no doubt that what the expectations and demands from Shadchunim and future spouses of even 5 years ago were and what they are today is like night and day.

The reasons are too many to post all at once, but I do hope to cover them, G"W, in the coming weeks.

One thing that stood out the most was the positive attitude needed, that they kept on emphasizing. You cannot blame anybody, and everyone needs education and chizuk (encouragement).

There are many good things going on in this shadcunim world, and my dream, even with all the great odds mounting, seems to be getting more colorful.