I never get a day off

Would you or would we ?

Just talk ?

We never disuss things ?????

shiduch rejects

Shiduch Committee discussion:

There's Avrohom Avinu: He seems to be frum but really he's a BT and his father made idols, not our kind. next.

Yitzchak Avinu: Well his grandfather made idols, there was all that nastiness with Lot and his half brother is an Arab.

Yaakov Avinu: His great-grandfather made idols, his brother went off the derech, his mother comes from a very treyfe family and he wasn't shomer negiah with Rachel Imeinu before they were married and he spent a lot of time with his uncle, who's mammesh a rasha.

Yosef HaTzaddik: His mother had an idol once and she died early, plus he's a slave and his brothers don't like him. There must be something in that. You know where there's smoke there's fire. And with all the issues with Avraham Avinu and Yitzchak and Yaakov Avinu, better not.

Moshe Rabbeinu: Oy, what a maaseh! His parents separated, then they got back together, his parents abandoned him, put him in a basket, he was raised by goyim; not our kind for sure. He may be close to Hashem but his background is so problematic we wouldn't want him in our family!

Dovid HaMelech: Descendants from a geyoret, not our kind of people. Sure a few generations have gone by but all things being equal shouldn't we look for someone with more Jewish background.

Shlomo HaMelech: See above. Also, his mother's marriage was a little dubious, don't you think? He is rich though but the yichus and family background is very tricky.

2nd opinion ?

The doctor said, Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news
is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition,which causes
your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a
headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles. Joe
was shocked and depressed. He wondered
if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When
he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years,
but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person.
He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need.. a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit. The elderly
tailor eye d him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed,
"That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor
said. Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the
mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment
and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves
and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know" Been in
the business 60 years." Joe tried on the
shirt, and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the
salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and
said, "Sure." The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I
got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his
head, "You can't wear a size34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against
the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache. "

New suit - $ 400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS

You don't know a woman until .............

3 little words ?

How depressing is it getting out there?

: )

Concerned about his health ?

How do you feel?

I begged you ?

U have a lovely smile ?

ONE lame excuse

When to smile ?

Picking up the check?

In common?

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the
following:

'Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.'

The lady can't take this any more,
'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,' she retorted indignantly.

'In this country. we don't speak aloud in Pu blic places about our sex lives.

'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man.
'Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell
' Mississippi '.'

$20.00 says you're gonna read this again!

What am I doing wrong?

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST

What am I doing wrong? Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810


THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.


Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to
the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful! So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease.

In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades Ineed an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.