Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Life explained
On the first day, G-d created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in
or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So G-d agreed.
On the second day, G-d created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give
you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long
time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And G-d agreed.
On the third day, G-d created the cow and said:
'You must go in to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family
. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And G-d agreed again.
On the fourth day, G-d created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you
twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty,
the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Yes,' said G-d, 'You may have your wish.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in
or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So G-d agreed.
On the second day, G-d created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give
you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long
time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And G-d agreed.
On the third day, G-d created the cow and said:
'You must go in to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family
. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And G-d agreed again.
On the fourth day, G-d created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you
twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty,
the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Yes,' said G-d, 'You may have your wish.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Torah Dating
B'reishis - In the beginning,
Noach lech - Noach went
Vayayroh Chayay Soroh - and he saw Chaya Soroh.
Toldos - He checked out the yichus
Vayaitzay - and they went out.
Vayishlach - They didn't like each other, so they sent each other away..
Vayaishev - The shadchan intervened and they returned to each other.
Mikaitz - In the end,
Vayigash - they got close
Noach lech - Noach went
Vayayroh Chayay Soroh - and he saw Chaya Soroh.
Toldos - He checked out the yichus
Vayaitzay - and they went out.
Vayishlach - They didn't like each other, so they sent each other away..
Vayaishev - The shadchan intervened and they returned to each other.
Mikaitz - In the end,
Vayigash - they got close
Friday, February 06, 2009
Octuplets' mom: 'All I ever wanted'
14 kids and a single mom ?
what's with the single mom idea anyway?
are men that not good? or are women not getting it either
G-d should help us all
: )
what's with the single mom idea anyway?
are men that not good? or are women not getting it either
G-d should help us all
: )
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Many people will walk in and out of your life
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart.
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If someone betrays you once, it's his fault; if he betrays you twice, it's your fault.
Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
God gives every bird it's food, But He does not throw it into it's nest.
He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.
Beautiful young people are acts of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it.
.
To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart.
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If someone betrays you once, it's his fault; if he betrays you twice, it's your fault.
Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
God gives every bird it's food, But He does not throw it into it's nest.
He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.
Beautiful young people are acts of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it.
.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
"If you have such a desire to know the truth, then you will be my son-in-law!"
4 Tevet
Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Joshua Isaac Shapira, a leader of 19th century European Jewry known by the nickname Reb Eisele Charif. The story is told that when his daughter was ready to get married, Reb Eisel sought out the top yeshiva student. He entered the study hall and announced: "I have a very difficult question on a passage in the Talmud. Whoever can supply the correct answer will have my daughter's hand in marriage." Soon a long line formed, and one by one the students tried to provide the answer. And one by one, Reb Eisel explained how the answers were incorrect. This went on for days, but when no one came up with the correct answer, Reb Eisel packed up and left. He had just reached the edge of the city, when he heard a voice shouting after him: "Reb Eisel, Reb Eisel!" He turned around to see a young man running in his direction. The student explained: "I know I wasn't able to satisfy the condition for marriage, but just for my own sake, could you please tell me the correct answer?" "Aha!" shouted Reb Eisel. "If you have such a desire to know the truth, then you will be my son-in-law!"
Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Joshua Isaac Shapira, a leader of 19th century European Jewry known by the nickname Reb Eisele Charif. The story is told that when his daughter was ready to get married, Reb Eisel sought out the top yeshiva student. He entered the study hall and announced: "I have a very difficult question on a passage in the Talmud. Whoever can supply the correct answer will have my daughter's hand in marriage." Soon a long line formed, and one by one the students tried to provide the answer. And one by one, Reb Eisel explained how the answers were incorrect. This went on for days, but when no one came up with the correct answer, Reb Eisel packed up and left. He had just reached the edge of the city, when he heard a voice shouting after him: "Reb Eisel, Reb Eisel!" He turned around to see a young man running in his direction. The student explained: "I know I wasn't able to satisfy the condition for marriage, but just for my own sake, could you please tell me the correct answer?" "Aha!" shouted Reb Eisel. "If you have such a desire to know the truth, then you will be my son-in-law!"
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
'I want to be gorgeous too'
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. 'I want to be gorgeous,' and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The seco nd one in line hears this and says 'I want to be gorgeous too' Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:
'Make 'em all ugly again.'
NEXT TIME YOU'RE LAST IN LINE. BE HAPPY
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. 'I want to be gorgeous,' and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The seco nd one in line hears this and says 'I want to be gorgeous too' Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:
'Make 'em all ugly again.'
NEXT TIME YOU'RE LAST IN LINE. BE HAPPY
MarriagE & ME
Many of us are too focused on the "me" in the equation.
Puzzled, the matchmaker requested more information. "She's actually very smart," the boy innocently revealed. "She agreed with all my opinions."
Puzzled, the matchmaker requested more information. "She's actually very smart," the boy innocently revealed. "She agreed with all my opinions."
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Playing with matches ???!!!!!
This is maybe one of the best ways, i as a shadchun feel today. i am sure all the caring shadchunim feel the same.
Hey, we are human as you all are.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Do singles really need to have anything in common ?
Actually, maybe the question should be; "Do singles really Have anything in common" ?
As much as the debate will go on about, that men and women are equal, the truth is that they are not, and will never be.
What each side should be asking is, " What can I contribute to the relationship to make it work? ".
Wishing all, a happy getting closer, Chanukkah !!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)