Imagine a world where there is ;
a global network of qualified professional shadchunim
a database where one can choose which shadchun to deal with
a database where the qualified shadchun can access all the information about everyone
a database that will act like your driver's license record for yourself and the shadchun. if one doesn't cooperate and deal honestly and respectfully they will be told so and dealt accordingly
a system where everyone communicates with a final yes or final no
an pre-marriage education mandatory course
an after the marriage for 1 year mandatory follow up course and help if needed
a system where if one needs true financial "chasuna" money those who could help will be able to do so more easily and accountably
a shadchun will be able to match the compatible boy and girl with out fear of reluctant parents
It's possible
15 comments:
You're dreaming. :-D
I had a dream......
:)
but what about those of us that have made mistakes, or have girls who hate our guts?
will we stand a chance?
TRK
absolutely.
in fact if u have any ideas please suggest them, and let's kick 'em around until it works
Ok, maybe I'm gonna sound the tiniest bit romantic here, and I'm certainly not discounting the idea of shidduchim (the "shidduch system" is a topic I won't touch here - I have neither the time nor the patience), BUT marriage is about more than just putting the right two people in the right hotel lobby at the the right time.
Doesn't it sound a little distturbing to be treating that sacred act of marriage like a business? We are not all soup cans with barcodes printed on our foreheads and love and marriage (whichever comes first, they hafta work together) should be more than a supermarket.
Sorry for the rant, but...
and this is another reason why I despise shadchonim.
eli7:
the fact is that there is a need to get people together.
the fact is that there is need for education to what is the purpose of marriage
the fact u can not let a few bad apples spoil a great idea
the fact is puttnig people together is the most sacred business in the world.
the fact is the way people look and expect perfection of the other but not of themselves they do seem to be like a bunch "soup cans....( u said it first)"
the fact is that "professional" shadchunim will introduce but not force people into marriage
the fact is that keep ranting, 'cause then maybe u will come up with another good idea
the fact is to stop complaining and look at the positive stuff that will result from this
karl
what is the reason(s) u despise shadchunim?
more important what do u NOT despise of?
what is YOUR lovable IDEA that is perfect and that works?
I am not against the idea of shidduchim but against the hamon am of shadchonim. See my post
http://knifedge.blogspot.com/2005/04/shadchen.html
for a few thoughts.
I could go through each of your points but dont want to waste my time nit picking. (maybe another time!) Basicly a shadchan should know the people they are suggesting and tell the truth. You cant expect everyone to fall into line with a set of hard-and-fast rules you seem to be setting out. Your living in fantasy land if you think any of your suggestions above will work - especially the global database. A shadchan is not someone who adds up the numbers and sees who's a closest match. (Althogh that could also work.)
KARL:
i hear and understand u. but i have something that is giving me hope.
i hope it will help those that want to be honest and be helped.
MEU: i did. read here-
http://thewonderingjew.blogspot.com/2005/06/shidduchcom.html
What happened to boy meets girl? Having your eye on a guy at the bagel shop and exchanging numbers? Would it really be so bad if people just...met?
brianna:
if it works for u, i'm all for it.
most people though, r not assertive, r afraid, r shy, etc. etc. , therefore this would be there to assist them.
How is this so different from Sawyouatsinai?
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