Another way the question is phrased and asked is, "who wears the pants?
Once upon a time, (and mostly still today,) men and/or women wore the pants. The "marriage" continued so until "death do us part".
There seems to be a significant "trend" today where if there is not a true partnership and one issues an ultimatum, the other just walks. Therefore the upward rate of divorce and the upward rate of single hood.
Man and women are not willing to be in a dictatorship relationship of marriage.
So, what is the Jewish way of marriage?
Contrary to what many who were "educated" either by the "system", parents and/or friends, Jewish marriage is a continuation of whatever was before marriage.
Before marriage, there are the Mitzvohs of loving your fellow Jew, no hating, no slandering, no loshen hora, no berating, etc. etc. . Nowhere is it mentioned that once one does the Mitzvah of marriage that all the other Mitzvahs between fellow Jews are dismissed. If anything, that is when it is most applicable. That is when it is truly is tested. That is when one sees what they are made of.
The fact that the commercial world has manifested the "ME" society has not helped either.
What is the answer?
True Torah education and/or knowledge, communication, and a "WE" society, most probably would be a good beginning.
Hashem yaazor
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