The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

*DANGEROUS:
**SAFER:
***SAFEST:
****ULTRA SAFE:

*What's for dinner?
**Can I help you with dinner?
***Where would you like to go for dinner?
****Here, have some wine.

*Are you wearing that?
**Wow, you sure look good in brown!
***WOW! Look at you!
****Here, have some wine

*What are you so worked up about?
**Could we be overreacting?
***Here's my paycheck.
****Here, have some wine.

*Should you be eating that?
**You know, there are a lot of apples left.
***Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
****Here, have some wine.

*What did you DO all day?
**I hope you didn't over-do it today.
***I've always loved you in that robe!
****Here, have some more wine.


13 Things PMS Stands For:

1 Pass My Shotgun
2 Psychotic Mood Shift
3 Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5 People Make me Sick
6 Provide Me with Sweets
7 Pardon My Sobbing
8 Pimples May Surface
9 Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!

...Or men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!

(got this email)