What I want in a man, Original List (age 22)
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates the finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What I want in a man, Revised list (age 32)
1. Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at a restaurant
4. Listens more than he talks
5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
6. Can carry in all groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
What I want in a man, Revised list (age 42)
1. Not too ugly - bald head okay
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange furniture
7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves on most weekends
What I want in a man, Revised list (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed to appropriate length
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep while I'm talking
5. Doesn't re-tell same jokes too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves on some weekends
What I want in a man, Revised list (age 62)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when awake (LOUDLY when asleep)
5. Forgets why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10.Remembers when...
What I want in a man, Revised list (age 72)
1. Breathing--
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
Unholy undies adorn rabbi's tomb
Got this story in email-
Hundreds of young Israeli women looking for husbands have been placing their underwear on the tomb of a venerated rabbi in the hopes that their marriage prayers will be answered.
Authorities have collected around 400 pairs of knickers and bras from the grilles of the tomb's window and on nearby trees, the Maariv daily has reported.
According to Jewish tradition, anyone who is unmarried will meet their soul mate and marry within a year if they visit the final resting place of Rabbi Yenothan Ben Uziel in northern Israel.
But Rabbi Israel Deri, who is in charge of protecting holy sites in the north, has told the newspaper the women's prayers will go unanswered.
"Having consulted with the chief rabbis, I can say with certainty that not only are these women guilty of a profanity but they will also never gain benediction," he said.
- AFP
charged with preserving the final resting place of Rabbi Yenothan Ben Uziel in the Amuka region of northern Israel, the Maariv daily reported on Sunday.
What were these women thinking? There must be a positive side to this. Can anyone help me out here?
Hundreds of young Israeli women looking for husbands have been placing their underwear on the tomb of a venerated rabbi in the hopes that their marriage prayers will be answered.
Authorities have collected around 400 pairs of knickers and bras from the grilles of the tomb's window and on nearby trees, the Maariv daily has reported.
According to Jewish tradition, anyone who is unmarried will meet their soul mate and marry within a year if they visit the final resting place of Rabbi Yenothan Ben Uziel in northern Israel.
But Rabbi Israel Deri, who is in charge of protecting holy sites in the north, has told the newspaper the women's prayers will go unanswered.
"Having consulted with the chief rabbis, I can say with certainty that not only are these women guilty of a profanity but they will also never gain benediction," he said.
- AFP
charged with preserving the final resting place of Rabbi Yenothan Ben Uziel in the Amuka region of northern Israel, the Maariv daily reported on Sunday.
What were these women thinking? There must be a positive side to this. Can anyone help me out here?
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Do good looks guarantee anything?
Three friends died and went to heaven. The first friend, Sarah, was the first one to go into the pearly gates and meet "G-d".
"Hello Sarah, it is so nice to see you here" G-d said to her. "Please make yourself at home and do whatever you want. Slide down the rainbows, sleep on the clouds, just have fun. BUT DON'T Step on the ducks" G-d said. "We love and cherish ducks here".
So, Sarah goes on her merry way and enjoys herself. Until OOPS! She steps on a duck. Suddenly the ugliest, most hideous man pops up and Sarah realized she must spend the rest of her life with him.
Next, Olivia goes into the pearly gates and G-d tells her the same thing. "Do whatever you want, just DON'T step on the ducks". So, Olivia goes on her way and OPPS! She steps on a duck. And she, too has to spend the rest of her life with a ugly, hideous man.
The last friend, Jenn, goes to meet G-d and he tells her the same thing. "DON'T STEP on the ducks".
Finally, a few weeks later, Olivia and Sarah are with their ugly men and they run into Jenn. And Jenn is with the most gorgeous guy that anyone has ever seen.
"How did you get so lucky and get such a hot guy"? Sarah asked her.
And the gorgeous guy looks up and says "I stepped on a Duck"!
Is this a joke? Is it not the real thing here and now?
Most of the good looking men and women do not seem to be matching up. When they do, very few are truly humble and happy with what they have.
What makes today's times different is that many people think they can choose today more than once upon a time. They think that one can "click" on matches suggested to them and the match will be there begging. They think there are endless handsome men and/or gorgeous women lined up waiting just for them. They are mad at us matchmakers why we are not banging down the doors 24/7.
In all reality, women who are above average weight do not have a fighting chance. Even the above average weight men want only thin women.
What are we supposed to tell these "above average weight" women?
"Hello Sarah, it is so nice to see you here" G-d said to her. "Please make yourself at home and do whatever you want. Slide down the rainbows, sleep on the clouds, just have fun. BUT DON'T Step on the ducks" G-d said. "We love and cherish ducks here".
So, Sarah goes on her merry way and enjoys herself. Until OOPS! She steps on a duck. Suddenly the ugliest, most hideous man pops up and Sarah realized she must spend the rest of her life with him.
Next, Olivia goes into the pearly gates and G-d tells her the same thing. "Do whatever you want, just DON'T step on the ducks". So, Olivia goes on her way and OPPS! She steps on a duck. And she, too has to spend the rest of her life with a ugly, hideous man.
The last friend, Jenn, goes to meet G-d and he tells her the same thing. "DON'T STEP on the ducks".
Finally, a few weeks later, Olivia and Sarah are with their ugly men and they run into Jenn. And Jenn is with the most gorgeous guy that anyone has ever seen.
"How did you get so lucky and get such a hot guy"? Sarah asked her.
And the gorgeous guy looks up and says "I stepped on a Duck"!
Is this a joke? Is it not the real thing here and now?
Most of the good looking men and women do not seem to be matching up. When they do, very few are truly humble and happy with what they have.
What makes today's times different is that many people think they can choose today more than once upon a time. They think that one can "click" on matches suggested to them and the match will be there begging. They think there are endless handsome men and/or gorgeous women lined up waiting just for them. They are mad at us matchmakers why we are not banging down the doors 24/7.
In all reality, women who are above average weight do not have a fighting chance. Even the above average weight men want only thin women.
What are we supposed to tell these "above average weight" women?
Thursday, December 15, 2005
MAN DATES GAL ON INTERNET FOR SIX MONTHS -- AND IT TURNS OUT SHE'S HIS MOTHER!
(got this story from email)
Friday December 9, 2005
By Grace Green
MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!
"I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would.
"But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "
But the worst was yet to come. Just as the mortified mother and son realized the error of their ways, a patrolman passed by and cited them for visiting a restricted beach after dark.
"Danny and I were so flustered, we blurted out the whole story to the cop," recalled matronly mom Nicole, 52. "The policeman wrote a report, a local TV station got hold of it -- and the next thing we knew, our picture and our story was all over the 6 o'clock news. "People started pointing and laughing at us on the street -- and they haven't stopped laughing since."
The girl-crazy X-ray technician said he began flirting with normally straitlaced Nicole -- who lives six miles away in a Marseilles suburb -- while scouring the Internet for young ladies to put a little pizzazz in his life.
"Mom called herself Sweet Juliette and I called myself The Prince of Pleasure, and unfortunately, neither one of us had any idea who the other was," said flabbergasted Daniel.
"The conversations even got a little racy a couple of times.
"But I really started to fall for her, because there seemed to be a sensitive side that you don't see in many girls.
"She sent me poems she had written and told me about her dreams and desires, and it was really very romantic.
"The truth is, I got to see a side of my mom I'd never seen before. I'm grateful for that."
When starry-eyed Daniel asked Sweet Juliette to send him a picture, Nicole e-mailed him a photo of a curvy, half-clad cutie she'd scanned from a men's magazine.
"The girl in the picture was so beautiful, I begged Juliette to meet me on the beach -- and Mom said yes," he recalled. "Mom says she was falling for me, too, and she just wanted to meet me, even though she knew I'd be disappointed when I saw her.
"As for me, I figured I was going to find the girl of my dreams.
"I guess that's about as wrong as I've ever been."
Daniel admits he and his mother could do little but stammer and stutter around each other for days after their cyberspace exploits came to light. And his father Paul -- Nicole's husband of 27 years -- wasn't too happy when the story hit the news and his beer-drinking buddies made him the butt of their jokes.
"Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on the Internet ever again," said embarrassed Daniel.
I've had people posting pictures that are from their younger years on the dating-matching sites, but this one is outta here.
Friday December 9, 2005
By Grace Green
MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!
"I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would.
"But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "
But the worst was yet to come. Just as the mortified mother and son realized the error of their ways, a patrolman passed by and cited them for visiting a restricted beach after dark.
"Danny and I were so flustered, we blurted out the whole story to the cop," recalled matronly mom Nicole, 52. "The policeman wrote a report, a local TV station got hold of it -- and the next thing we knew, our picture and our story was all over the 6 o'clock news. "People started pointing and laughing at us on the street -- and they haven't stopped laughing since."
The girl-crazy X-ray technician said he began flirting with normally straitlaced Nicole -- who lives six miles away in a Marseilles suburb -- while scouring the Internet for young ladies to put a little pizzazz in his life.
"Mom called herself Sweet Juliette and I called myself The Prince of Pleasure, and unfortunately, neither one of us had any idea who the other was," said flabbergasted Daniel.
"The conversations even got a little racy a couple of times.
"But I really started to fall for her, because there seemed to be a sensitive side that you don't see in many girls.
"She sent me poems she had written and told me about her dreams and desires, and it was really very romantic.
"The truth is, I got to see a side of my mom I'd never seen before. I'm grateful for that."
When starry-eyed Daniel asked Sweet Juliette to send him a picture, Nicole e-mailed him a photo of a curvy, half-clad cutie she'd scanned from a men's magazine.
"The girl in the picture was so beautiful, I begged Juliette to meet me on the beach -- and Mom said yes," he recalled. "Mom says she was falling for me, too, and she just wanted to meet me, even though she knew I'd be disappointed when I saw her.
"As for me, I figured I was going to find the girl of my dreams.
"I guess that's about as wrong as I've ever been."
Daniel admits he and his mother could do little but stammer and stutter around each other for days after their cyberspace exploits came to light. And his father Paul -- Nicole's husband of 27 years -- wasn't too happy when the story hit the news and his beer-drinking buddies made him the butt of their jokes.
"Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on the Internet ever again," said embarrassed Daniel.
I've had people posting pictures that are from their younger years on the dating-matching sites, but this one is outta here.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
marriage and sports
It seems that there are actually many marriages brought into marriage.
One thing Men bring in is sports. Now women are not against it, but it’s the timing and the amount of time spent that puts the marriage out of whack plenty.
What is the other side of the story?
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Will the world become Chasidic?
The Newest Kind of Infidelity
Hold the sex! With emotional infidelity, all it takes to cheat is a close friendship.
If you're married and you share secrets with a close friend of the opposite sex or go out for drinks after work, you are guilty of emotional infidelity. That's the controversial verdict from M. Gary Neuman, a Miami Beach, Fla., therapist and author of the new book, "Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship."
His words are blunt: You can't have an intimate relationship at work and still have a great relationship at home. Even if there is no sex, he claims that any sort of male-female friendship outside of marriage is adultery. Period.
Those are frightening words. With the long and intense work hours so many regularly endure, close friendships at work with people of both genders are typically the norm. Neuman's advice is simple and direct: Back off. He told The Baltimore Sun, "My message is that if you want to infuse passion and have a buddy for the rest of your life, you have to keep that emotional content in your marriage. Otherwise, it's not going to happen."
His views may be extreme, but even his critics--and there are many--acknowledge that his central premise that friendships between members of the opposite sex can harm marriages is probably valid. Author and infidelity researcher Shirley Glass, told the Sun that office friendships are a big concern. "Many love affairs begin just that way."
How many of us cheat? About 25 percent of married men and 17 percent of married women admit to having had a sexual affair, according to the University of Chicago. Glass just shakes her head at those numbers. They're far too low in her opinion. It's more like 40 to 50 percent of men and 25 percent of women, according to her calculations.
But those numbers are for people who have committed sexual infidelity. What about emotional infidelity? How common is that? Glass says it's likely in the 55 to 65 percent range, and the numbers are growing. She told the Sun that in her opinion three things must first happen before it qualifies as infidelity:
Emotional intimacy that is greater than in the marriage
Sexual tension
Secrecy
"Friendship becomes a problem when it becomes a replacement for a marriage or takes place outside a marriage," Glass told Sun reporter Peter Jensen. Still, Neuman contends that any close friendship can be a problem for a marriage. "If you put the majority of your emotions in the hands of someone other than your spouse, you're still shortchanging your spouse," he says, calling the workplace Ground Zero for emotional infidelity. As many as 73 percent of sexual affairs get started in the cubicles and copy rooms of America, not to mention during lunch, drinks after work, business trips, and team building retreats.
"We have hard and fast decisions to make," he told the Sun. "What's the most meaningful thing in your life? We can't fool ourselves into thinking we can have these intimate relationships at work and still have a great relationship at home."
10 Rules for Avoiding Emotional Infidelity
1.Keep it all business in the office.
2.Avoid meetings with members of the opposite sex outside the workplace.
3.Meet in groups.
4.Find polite ways of ending personal conversations.
5.Take particular care not to have regular (perhaps daily or even weekly) conversations about your life outside work.
6.Don't share your personal feelings.
7.Be unflinchingly honest with yourself.
8.Avoid cordial kisses and hugs, or dancing with members of the opposite sex.
9.Don't drink around the opposite sex.
10.Show your commitment to your spouse daily.
Source: "Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship," by M. Gary Neuman
Talk about going full circle. From the '60s of free sex and open relationships to "Be unflinchingly honest with yourself"? Is this guy for real?
Hold the sex! With emotional infidelity, all it takes to cheat is a close friendship.
If you're married and you share secrets with a close friend of the opposite sex or go out for drinks after work, you are guilty of emotional infidelity. That's the controversial verdict from M. Gary Neuman, a Miami Beach, Fla., therapist and author of the new book, "Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship."
His words are blunt: You can't have an intimate relationship at work and still have a great relationship at home. Even if there is no sex, he claims that any sort of male-female friendship outside of marriage is adultery. Period.
Those are frightening words. With the long and intense work hours so many regularly endure, close friendships at work with people of both genders are typically the norm. Neuman's advice is simple and direct: Back off. He told The Baltimore Sun, "My message is that if you want to infuse passion and have a buddy for the rest of your life, you have to keep that emotional content in your marriage. Otherwise, it's not going to happen."
His views may be extreme, but even his critics--and there are many--acknowledge that his central premise that friendships between members of the opposite sex can harm marriages is probably valid. Author and infidelity researcher Shirley Glass, told the Sun that office friendships are a big concern. "Many love affairs begin just that way."
How many of us cheat? About 25 percent of married men and 17 percent of married women admit to having had a sexual affair, according to the University of Chicago. Glass just shakes her head at those numbers. They're far too low in her opinion. It's more like 40 to 50 percent of men and 25 percent of women, according to her calculations.
But those numbers are for people who have committed sexual infidelity. What about emotional infidelity? How common is that? Glass says it's likely in the 55 to 65 percent range, and the numbers are growing. She told the Sun that in her opinion three things must first happen before it qualifies as infidelity:
Emotional intimacy that is greater than in the marriage
Sexual tension
Secrecy
"Friendship becomes a problem when it becomes a replacement for a marriage or takes place outside a marriage," Glass told Sun reporter Peter Jensen. Still, Neuman contends that any close friendship can be a problem for a marriage. "If you put the majority of your emotions in the hands of someone other than your spouse, you're still shortchanging your spouse," he says, calling the workplace Ground Zero for emotional infidelity. As many as 73 percent of sexual affairs get started in the cubicles and copy rooms of America, not to mention during lunch, drinks after work, business trips, and team building retreats.
"We have hard and fast decisions to make," he told the Sun. "What's the most meaningful thing in your life? We can't fool ourselves into thinking we can have these intimate relationships at work and still have a great relationship at home."
10 Rules for Avoiding Emotional Infidelity
1.Keep it all business in the office.
2.Avoid meetings with members of the opposite sex outside the workplace.
3.Meet in groups.
4.Find polite ways of ending personal conversations.
5.Take particular care not to have regular (perhaps daily or even weekly) conversations about your life outside work.
6.Don't share your personal feelings.
7.Be unflinchingly honest with yourself.
8.Avoid cordial kisses and hugs, or dancing with members of the opposite sex.
9.Don't drink around the opposite sex.
10.Show your commitment to your spouse daily.
Source: "Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship," by M. Gary Neuman
Talk about going full circle. From the '60s of free sex and open relationships to "Be unflinchingly honest with yourself"? Is this guy for real?
Friday, December 09, 2005
Is the dating scene like a "blonde" joke?
Here is one of the classic "blonde" jokes.
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.
She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.
The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
I find that most of the people in the dating scene are looking for the "alligator shoes". And it seems just like one "blonde" joke.
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.
She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.
The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
I find that most of the people in the dating scene are looking for the "alligator shoes". And it seems just like one "blonde" joke.
Friday, December 02, 2005
Forty-five years of misery is enough !
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.
Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, "You are NOT! getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get here. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife." Okay," he says,
"They're coming for Pesach and paying their own airfares."
Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, "You are NOT! getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get here. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife." Okay," he says,
"They're coming for Pesach and paying their own airfares."
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