Thursday, July 19, 2007

Subject: personal ads for the yidlock

Divorced man, 42, with fleishig dishes only. Seeking woman with nice milchig set. Object macaroni. POB 77.

Professional Jewish athlete, winner of Davis Cup, America Cup, Stanley Cup. Seeking non-Jewish woman. Goyishe Cup. POB 58

Desperately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK. POB 64.

Heimishe balabusta, 39, will cook you such a tzimmes. Hurry, it's getting cold. POB 96.

Eh, shalom aleichem... So maybe you want to meet me, although all right, you probably don't. Nu, so if you change your mind, maybe epess you'll write me, but if not, it's OK, I understand. My name is Shaya Bochur. POB 55.

Successful orthodox diamond cutter. Both Shea and Yankee Stadium. No Shabbos games. Will not mow lawn during s'firah. Seeking wife. POB 41.

Matzo supplier 53, seeks cloth bag manufacturer to play "Hide the Afikomen." POB 67.

Israeli woman, 28, works behind falafel counter in pizza shop, looking for Jewish man with sense of humus. POB 789.

You're probably wondering why an accomplished PhD, LLB, MBA, DDS, MD, and Rhodes Scholar like me isn't married yet. I'm a meeskite. POB 766.

Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write. POB 74.

Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality. POB 78.

Are you the girl I spoke with at the kiddush after shul last week? You excused yourself to get more horseradish for your gefilte fish, but you never returned. How can I contact you again? (I was the one with the cholent stain on my tie). POB 766.

Shochet, 54, owns successful butcher shop in Midwest. Doesn't believe women should be treated like a piece of meat. Seeks glatt kosher maydl for marriage. POB 99.

Kiss me, kiss my mezuzah. Sincere Jewish female, 29, looking for honest, hard working, observant Jewish zivig to share Shabbos, yom tov, mikvah. POB 322.

Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of dybbuks, seeks mench. No weirdos, please. POB 56.

Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who will accept my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget it. POB 435.

Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah candles, Havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker. POB 787.

Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good. POB 555.

Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try it for eight days. Who knows? POB 43.

I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to. Share your inner most thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I'll understand your
insecurities. No fatties, please. POB 86.

Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB 53.

Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, track and field. Has slight limp. POB 76.

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