Sunday, April 30, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
4 little ANIMALS
(You've got to love this little girl. What a woman she'll make!)
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want Out of life is four little animals, just like my Mom always says".
The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be?"
The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."
The teacher fainted.
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want Out of life is four little animals, just like my Mom always says".
The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be?"
The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."
The teacher fainted.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
The NON-DATE date
The madness of dating, IMHO, is going out of control. Dates are becoming NON-DATES DATES.
This problem is not exclusive to any dating circle of age and/or level of religious practice.
In fact, even by the Ultra-Orthodox/Yeshivish Black Hat/Hasidish/Heimish this has become the style. Everything is done with an attitude and in a place under the guise because we do not want to hurt the other side. Therefore, if it is not a date date, then the other individual will not get hurt.
How brainless is this?
uggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Loving Equally
Loving Equally By Nicole Peters, fifteen
My parents had been married for eighteen years and dating since my mother was fourteen. Their marriage had been on the rocks for as long as I can remember. They had talked about divorcing many times but never went through with it for the sake of their only child, me.
One of their last fights that I can remember was very physical. My parents destroyed all of each other's belongings, and it soon came to the point where there was nothing left in the house that wasn't demolished. There were holes in the walls and just pieces of everything covering the floor.
My father shoved my mother around and bruised her prettily badly, and I had to witness it all with my fourteen-year-old eyes.
Before I knew it, we were in court and I had to make the decision of whose hands to put my life into. I had to choose which parent I would live with every day. I felt like my heart was being cut out of my chest and my parents were tugging at each end of it. I loved both of my parents, and I knew one way or the other I was going to hurt one of them. After I thought for a while, I decided to live with my mom even though I knew my dad would be upset.
But it was much harder than I thought it would be. My mom was always talking about my dad and how terrible she thought he was. She still held a lot of anger inside of her heart, and she wanted to get back at my dad through me. I felt like she wanted me to love only her and to despise my father. Because I loved my dad, too, I was upset a lot and we started to argue all the time.
Nine months later, I went to live with my dad because my mother and I could no longer stand each other. I was blaming her for my feelings of confusion and anger. At first, it was better with my dad, but after only a week he started doing the same thing that my mother had been doing – only in reverse. My dad seemed to want me to have a lot of feelings of hatred towards my mother. I stuck it out at his house for a while. Then I began to see that he wasn't as interested in me as I thought that he would be. He never asked me when I would be home or who I was hanging out with. I had pretty much all the freedom I wanted. Without any curfews or rules, I began to feel like he didn't even care about me. I began partying too much, and my life was getting completely off track.
After I had a few fights with my dad and spent many nights alone, crying myself to sleep, I realized that I had to figure out what to do.
I realized that there were ups and downs about living with both of them. They both had their faults and made mistakes. Neither of them wanted to admit their own mistakes, and they were quick to point out the mistakes of the other. There was no way for me to decide who was right or who was wrong. I couldn't love one of them more than the other and leave the other one behind. I decided that I had to love both parents equally.
I could no longer let them influence me and take control of my feelings so easily. I began by asking them to please keep their feeling for each other to themselves. I think that they tried, but it didn't work. When that failed, I realized that I would have to do this myself. I'd just have to try and be strong and ignore what they said about each other. As soon as I made that decision, I felt more in control and my life began to change.
My mom and dad still say things out of anger about each other and they don't speak to one another. But do you know what? That's their problem. Not mine. I'm doing the best I can to be fair to both of them. In my life, it has been a welcome change to not get caught up in their personal battles, but to focus on loving them instead.
Reprinted by permission of Nicole Peters and Carol Skinner(c) 1999 Mary Saracino from Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen and Irene Dunlap. In order to protect the rights of the copyright holder, no portion of this publication may be reproduced without prior written consent. All rights reserved.
My parents had been married for eighteen years and dating since my mother was fourteen. Their marriage had been on the rocks for as long as I can remember. They had talked about divorcing many times but never went through with it for the sake of their only child, me.
One of their last fights that I can remember was very physical. My parents destroyed all of each other's belongings, and it soon came to the point where there was nothing left in the house that wasn't demolished. There were holes in the walls and just pieces of everything covering the floor.
My father shoved my mother around and bruised her prettily badly, and I had to witness it all with my fourteen-year-old eyes.
Before I knew it, we were in court and I had to make the decision of whose hands to put my life into. I had to choose which parent I would live with every day. I felt like my heart was being cut out of my chest and my parents were tugging at each end of it. I loved both of my parents, and I knew one way or the other I was going to hurt one of them. After I thought for a while, I decided to live with my mom even though I knew my dad would be upset.
But it was much harder than I thought it would be. My mom was always talking about my dad and how terrible she thought he was. She still held a lot of anger inside of her heart, and she wanted to get back at my dad through me. I felt like she wanted me to love only her and to despise my father. Because I loved my dad, too, I was upset a lot and we started to argue all the time.
Nine months later, I went to live with my dad because my mother and I could no longer stand each other. I was blaming her for my feelings of confusion and anger. At first, it was better with my dad, but after only a week he started doing the same thing that my mother had been doing – only in reverse. My dad seemed to want me to have a lot of feelings of hatred towards my mother. I stuck it out at his house for a while. Then I began to see that he wasn't as interested in me as I thought that he would be. He never asked me when I would be home or who I was hanging out with. I had pretty much all the freedom I wanted. Without any curfews or rules, I began to feel like he didn't even care about me. I began partying too much, and my life was getting completely off track.
After I had a few fights with my dad and spent many nights alone, crying myself to sleep, I realized that I had to figure out what to do.
I realized that there were ups and downs about living with both of them. They both had their faults and made mistakes. Neither of them wanted to admit their own mistakes, and they were quick to point out the mistakes of the other. There was no way for me to decide who was right or who was wrong. I couldn't love one of them more than the other and leave the other one behind. I decided that I had to love both parents equally.
I could no longer let them influence me and take control of my feelings so easily. I began by asking them to please keep their feeling for each other to themselves. I think that they tried, but it didn't work. When that failed, I realized that I would have to do this myself. I'd just have to try and be strong and ignore what they said about each other. As soon as I made that decision, I felt more in control and my life began to change.
My mom and dad still say things out of anger about each other and they don't speak to one another. But do you know what? That's their problem. Not mine. I'm doing the best I can to be fair to both of them. In my life, it has been a welcome change to not get caught up in their personal battles, but to focus on loving them instead.
Reprinted by permission of Nicole Peters and Carol Skinner(c) 1999 Mary Saracino from Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen and Irene Dunlap. In order to protect the rights of the copyright holder, no portion of this publication may be reproduced without prior written consent. All rights reserved.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Men strike back!
Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, G-d created the earth and rested. Then G-d created Man and rested. Then G-d created Woman. Since then, neither G-d nor Man has rested.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, G-d created the earth and rested. Then G-d created Man and rested. Then G-d created Woman. Since then, neither G-d nor Man has rested.
Does anyone have a Married/Single/Divorced version?
YOURSELF
YOUR BUYER
YOUR LENDER
YOUR APPRAISER
YOUR TAX ASSESSOR
YOUR BUYER
YOUR LENDER
YOUR APPRAISER
YOUR TAX ASSESSOR
Friday, April 21, 2006
"We've only just met and already you're asking for things."
FOR ALMOST A YEAR I'd been commuting at rush hour on the busiest part of the New Jersey Turnpike. After doing battle with aggressive drivers and bumper-to-bumper congestion, I longed for human contact by the time I reached the toll booths at my exit. At first I'd tried to coax a nod or grin from the toll collectors with a cheerful "Good morning," but I rarely got a response and finally gave up. Then one day, my faith in the indomitable human spirit was restored. In response to my usual, "Receipt, please," the attendant deadpanned, "We've only just met and already you're asking for things."
--Contributed to "All In a Day's Work" by Rosemarie Noone
Why do we think that all or most of our expectations will be met by our "better half"? Is it because we had parents that spoiled us or the opposite?
Is it any wonder when we consume all the negative stories of relationships that we give up on marriage?
What about all these unrealistic romantic stories that get consumed for entertainment and all of a sudden it becomes expectations?
IMHO no romantic novels and or movies and etc., should be able to be had without a prescription, just like medical prescriptions!!!
--Contributed to "All In a Day's Work" by Rosemarie Noone
Why do we think that all or most of our expectations will be met by our "better half"? Is it because we had parents that spoiled us or the opposite?
Is it any wonder when we consume all the negative stories of relationships that we give up on marriage?
What about all these unrealistic romantic stories that get consumed for entertainment and all of a sudden it becomes expectations?
IMHO no romantic novels and or movies and etc., should be able to be had without a prescription, just like medical prescriptions!!!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Can one date without dating?
When is it considered a date?
I find that this is a problem from both sides of the aisle.
It also seems to lack definition whether one is Religious or Non-Religious.
Actually everyone seems to have their own definition. No wonder 97% of people are afraid of dating.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Friday, April 07, 2006
Wife being the mother syndrome?
What is the truth here, are men children or do women want to be mothers?
Why can't husband and wives define their relationships?
Thursday, April 06, 2006
"I am serving supper now !!"
"I am serving supper now !!" -
Is this a sign of servitude or is it a command? How did the word serve come in here, or was it always that the wife was a servant?
Does the fact that the husband was the "provider" make him the Boss/Owner/Lord?
Does the fact that the roles have changed or become equal redefine this marriage relationship? What about where the roles have NOT changed?
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
I am ready to marry a frog
Moshe was very frustrated and told his friend Yakov, "I can't take this dating business anymore, I am ready to marry a frog."
To this Yakov replied, "Why don't you kiss the frog and it will turn into a princess?"
"Can't", said Moshe, "She is shomer negiah."
To this Yakov replied, "Why don't you kiss the frog and it will turn into a princess?"
"Can't", said Moshe, "She is shomer negiah."
Are woman that suffocating?
Are woman that suffocating, or is it just that men are using that for an argument?
How much attention is enough?
How much privacy are spouses allowed?
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
** Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006**
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two states: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
**AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006**
We know exactly where ONE cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America. BUT we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!!!
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two states: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
**AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006**
We know exactly where ONE cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America. BUT we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!!!
Forgot girlfriend's birthday?
Who was the 1st woman that got mad at her boyfriend for forgetting her birthday? How did this become worse than murder? How is this being perpetuated that it installs such fear in men?
I did research some history about birthdays and it was a idol worship type of practice. Does that mean that it was some woman who wanted to be worshiped as a god that started this? If that is the case, who was the first man that submitted to this?
Either way, is this a good enough reason to destroy a date and a possible good marriage?
Never to be turned down for a date?
I do find that MANY do not accept dates because they are afraid of being turned down. Therefore they turn down the suggested date first.
What has become common in some circles, that it has become a game of who can turn down more dates.
Need I say more?
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