Words From Famous Women ...

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde." - Dolly Parton

"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job." - Roseanne

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives." - Rita Rudner

"He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant" -Carol Leifer

"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog." -Wendy Liebman

"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on." - Roseanne

"I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT?" - Wendy Liebman

"I think-therefore I'm single" - Lizz Winstead

"Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid." - Hedy Lamarr

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." - Elayne Boosler

"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." - Gilda Radner

"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."- Maryon Pearson

"Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel." -Bella Abzug

"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman." - Margaret Thatcher

"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." - Gloria Steinem

"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." - GloriaSteinem

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." - Katharine Hepburn

"I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night." - Marie Corelli

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" - Linda Ellerbee

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor