Monday, June 12, 2006
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Difficult and/or simple
How ready is today's new dating and married couples ready to having and bringing up children?
Are today's generation being over-info-ed therefore scaring them too much?
Taking advice and giving advice
Are there very few people giving advice because there are very few who can give it or is it because there are very few who will take advice?
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Sunday, June 04, 2006
The difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one
MARRIAGE
Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.
Harlan Miller
Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
John Lyly
"Mother Bombie"
Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.
Harlan Miller
Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
John Lyly
"Mother Bombie"
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Emotional Navigation
What is the difference between dating today and once upon a time? One major word, FEELINGS. "I don't feel he/she is for me."
Who today can claim that they understand, let alone, know how to manage their feelings, especially at the prime younger "feeling" ages? What is causing so MANY feelings?
IMHO it is quite simple. There is nothing in the brain that understands the REASON WHY to get married. Once upon a time there was basically one reason. Today there is not one reason but many. Which to me equals to NO reason, therefore Many feelings, therefore confusion, therefore today's dating scene.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Gender Differences
The following comments are those of Bill Hall who is a syndicated humor columnist for the Lewiston Morning Tribune in Lewiston, Idaho.
Gender Differences: Consider bathing, for instance. As a general rule, middle-aged women take baths at night. The men shower each morning. The men like to go to bed dirty and go to work clean. Women prefer to go to bed clean and to work dirty. That's why men usually take their coffee breaks with other men.
Women read more boring magazines than men. They read silly, pedestrian magazines filled with articles on making quilts, turning bleach bottles into stunning centerpieces, the use of orange eyeshadow and how to get men to shower before going to bed instead of before going to work.
Men read sensible, intellectual journals on how to catch fish and kill little animals.
When a man cooks, he keeps his knives sharp. Most female cooks don't. Indeed, most female cooks don't even own a decent kitchen knife, let alone a sharp one.
Female cooks offer the excuse that they would cut themselves if they had a sharp knife. And anyone with knives that lousy probably would.
There is another difference between male and female cooks. Female cooks generally cook better with dull knives than male cooks do with sharp knives. That's how infuriating female cooks can be.
Most women in my age group wear dresses occasionally. Only a few of my male friends do and then only in the privacy of their own homes.
The women hobble around on high-heeled shoes. Most men would ever do anything that silly. In fact, there is a name for the kind of men who wear high heels. They are called cowboys.
Women laugh at men for wearing neckties and coats on 100-degree summer days. They snicker at men for wearing more clothes than necessary in hot weather. However, the women who do that are sweating in their pantyhose.
Most women in my age group wear make-up. Very few of the men do. There is a name for men who wear make-up. They are called weird cowboys.
Women are far more likely to be lousy tippers in restaurants, and to complain thereafter that men always get better service than they do.
Women fold their underwear. Most men merely stuff their underwear into the drawer. Men use the time they save to catch fish and kill little animals.
Most women, when lost, will stop and ask directions. Most men in my age group believe admitting you're lost will cast doubt on your manhood. That's why so many macho men are lost. Smarter men prove their manhood by stopping and asking women for directions, even when they aren't lost.
There is another big difference between men and women in my age group. A competent man tends to rise through the ranks so easily that he eventually reaches a level where he is incompetent. Dr. Laurence J. Peter has dubbed this process the Peter Principle.
Women in my age group tend to be held below the level of their competence, making them embarrassing to work with because they tend to outshine male colleagues at the same level.
This is known as the Pain-in-the-Neck Principle. Incompetent men who have been subjected to that humiliation retaliate by refusing to promote women. And rightly so. You don't want people in the board room who don't shower each morning.
Gender Differences: Consider bathing, for instance. As a general rule, middle-aged women take baths at night. The men shower each morning. The men like to go to bed dirty and go to work clean. Women prefer to go to bed clean and to work dirty. That's why men usually take their coffee breaks with other men.
Women read more boring magazines than men. They read silly, pedestrian magazines filled with articles on making quilts, turning bleach bottles into stunning centerpieces, the use of orange eyeshadow and how to get men to shower before going to bed instead of before going to work.
Men read sensible, intellectual journals on how to catch fish and kill little animals.
When a man cooks, he keeps his knives sharp. Most female cooks don't. Indeed, most female cooks don't even own a decent kitchen knife, let alone a sharp one.
Female cooks offer the excuse that they would cut themselves if they had a sharp knife. And anyone with knives that lousy probably would.
There is another difference between male and female cooks. Female cooks generally cook better with dull knives than male cooks do with sharp knives. That's how infuriating female cooks can be.
Most women in my age group wear dresses occasionally. Only a few of my male friends do and then only in the privacy of their own homes.
The women hobble around on high-heeled shoes. Most men would ever do anything that silly. In fact, there is a name for the kind of men who wear high heels. They are called cowboys.
Women laugh at men for wearing neckties and coats on 100-degree summer days. They snicker at men for wearing more clothes than necessary in hot weather. However, the women who do that are sweating in their pantyhose.
Most women in my age group wear make-up. Very few of the men do. There is a name for men who wear make-up. They are called weird cowboys.
Women are far more likely to be lousy tippers in restaurants, and to complain thereafter that men always get better service than they do.
Women fold their underwear. Most men merely stuff their underwear into the drawer. Men use the time they save to catch fish and kill little animals.
Most women, when lost, will stop and ask directions. Most men in my age group believe admitting you're lost will cast doubt on your manhood. That's why so many macho men are lost. Smarter men prove their manhood by stopping and asking women for directions, even when they aren't lost.
There is another big difference between men and women in my age group. A competent man tends to rise through the ranks so easily that he eventually reaches a level where he is incompetent. Dr. Laurence J. Peter has dubbed this process the Peter Principle.
Women in my age group tend to be held below the level of their competence, making them embarrassing to work with because they tend to outshine male colleagues at the same level.
This is known as the Pain-in-the-Neck Principle. Incompetent men who have been subjected to that humiliation retaliate by refusing to promote women. And rightly so. You don't want people in the board room who don't shower each morning.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
The 3 S's and the 3 B's
When a woman gets married, she wants the 3 S's: sensitivity,
sincerity, and sharing. What does she get?
The 3 B's: burps, body odor, and beer breath.
sincerity, and sharing. What does she get?
The 3 B's: burps, body odor, and beer breath.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Wife or whore?
Money
The Economics Of Prostitution
Michael Noer, 02.14.06, 12:00 PM ET
Wife or whore?
The choice is that simple. At least according to economists Lena Edlund and Evelyn Korn, it is.
The two well-respected economists created a minor stir in academic circles a few years back when they published "A Theory of Prostitution" in the Journal of Political Economy. The paper was remarkable not only for being accepted by a major journal but also because it considered wives and whores as economic "goods" that can be substituted for each other. Men buy, women sell.
Economists have been equating money and marriage ever since Nobel Prize-winning economist Gary Becker published his seminal paper "A Theory of Marriage" in two parts in 1973 and 1974--also, not coincidentally, in the Journal of Political Economy.
Becker used market analysis to tackle the questions of whom, when and why we marry. His conclusions? Mate selection is a market, and marriages occur only if they are profitable for both parties involved.
Becker allowed nonmonetary elements, like romantic love and companionship, to be entered into courtship's profit and loss statement. And children, in particular, were important. "Sexual gratification, cleaning, feeding and other services can be purchased, but not children: Both the man and the woman are required to produce their own children and perhaps to raise them," he wrote.
But back to whores: Edlund and Korn admit that spouses and streetwalkers aren't exactly alike. Wives, in truth, are superior to whores in the economist's sense of being a good whose consumption increases as income rises--like fine wine. This may explain why prostitution is less common in wealthier countries. But the implication remains that wives and whores are--if not exactly like Coke and Pepsi--something akin to champagne and beer. The same sort of thing.
As with Becker, a key differentiator in Edlund and Korn's model is reproductive sex. Wives can offer it, whores can not.
To be fair, Edlund and Korn were merely building an admittedly grossly simplified model of human behavior in an attempt to answer a nagging question: Why do hookers make so much money? Prostitution is, seemingly, a low-skill but high-pay profession with few upfront costs, micro-miniskirts and stiletto heels aside.
Yet according to data assembled from a wide variety of times and places, ranging from mid-15th-century France to Malaysia of the late 1990s, prostitutes make more money--in some cases, a lot more money--than do working girls who, well, work for a living. This held true even for places where prostitution is legal and relatively safe. In short, streetwalkers aren't necessarily being paid more for their increased risk of going to jail or the hospital.
Notwithstanding Jerry Hall's quip when she was married to Mick Jagger, about being "a maid in the living room and a whore in the bedroom," one normally cannot be both a wife and a whore. "Combine this with the fact that marriage can be an important source of income for women, and it follows that prostitution must pay better than other jobs to compensate for the opportunity cost of forgone-marriage market earnings," Edlund and Korn conclude.
Ouch.
Another zinger: "This begs the question of why married men go to prostitutes (rather than buying from their wives, who presumably will be low-cost providers, considering that they can sell nonreproductive sex without compromising their marriage)." Guys, nothing says "Happy Valentine's Day" more than "low-cost provider."
Of course, it's easy to pour cold water on some of the assumptions made in Edlund and Korn's mathematical model. But these so-called "stylized facts" are supposed to predict human behavior; they don't necessarily pretend to mirror it.
In particular, the assumption that there is no "third way" between wife and whore is problematic, if not outright offensive: "The third alternative, working in a regular job but not marrying, can be ruled out, since we assume that the only downside of marriage for a woman is the forgone opportunity for prostitution."
Be sure to let all your married friends know what they're missing.
Also, the emphasis on the utility of children is puzzling. In most Western democracies, fertility rates have plummeted as wealth has increased. Empirically, men not only buy fewer whores as they get richer, but they have fewer children.
Still, the economic analysis of marriage explains one age-old phenomenon: gold digging.
"In particular, does our analysis justify the popular belief that more beautiful, charming and talented women tend to marry wealthier and more successful men?" wrote Becker. His answer: "A positive sorting of nonmarket traits with nonhuman wealth always, and with earnings power, usually, maximizes commodity output over all marriages."
In other words, yes, supermodels do prefer aging billionaires. And Gary Becker proved it mathematically decades before The Donald married Melania.
The Economics Of Prostitution
Michael Noer, 02.14.06, 12:00 PM ET
Wife or whore?
The choice is that simple. At least according to economists Lena Edlund and Evelyn Korn, it is.
The two well-respected economists created a minor stir in academic circles a few years back when they published "A Theory of Prostitution" in the Journal of Political Economy. The paper was remarkable not only for being accepted by a major journal but also because it considered wives and whores as economic "goods" that can be substituted for each other. Men buy, women sell.
Economists have been equating money and marriage ever since Nobel Prize-winning economist Gary Becker published his seminal paper "A Theory of Marriage" in two parts in 1973 and 1974--also, not coincidentally, in the Journal of Political Economy.
Becker used market analysis to tackle the questions of whom, when and why we marry. His conclusions? Mate selection is a market, and marriages occur only if they are profitable for both parties involved.
Becker allowed nonmonetary elements, like romantic love and companionship, to be entered into courtship's profit and loss statement. And children, in particular, were important. "Sexual gratification, cleaning, feeding and other services can be purchased, but not children: Both the man and the woman are required to produce their own children and perhaps to raise them," he wrote.
But back to whores: Edlund and Korn admit that spouses and streetwalkers aren't exactly alike. Wives, in truth, are superior to whores in the economist's sense of being a good whose consumption increases as income rises--like fine wine. This may explain why prostitution is less common in wealthier countries. But the implication remains that wives and whores are--if not exactly like Coke and Pepsi--something akin to champagne and beer. The same sort of thing.
As with Becker, a key differentiator in Edlund and Korn's model is reproductive sex. Wives can offer it, whores can not.
To be fair, Edlund and Korn were merely building an admittedly grossly simplified model of human behavior in an attempt to answer a nagging question: Why do hookers make so much money? Prostitution is, seemingly, a low-skill but high-pay profession with few upfront costs, micro-miniskirts and stiletto heels aside.
Yet according to data assembled from a wide variety of times and places, ranging from mid-15th-century France to Malaysia of the late 1990s, prostitutes make more money--in some cases, a lot more money--than do working girls who, well, work for a living. This held true even for places where prostitution is legal and relatively safe. In short, streetwalkers aren't necessarily being paid more for their increased risk of going to jail or the hospital.
Notwithstanding Jerry Hall's quip when she was married to Mick Jagger, about being "a maid in the living room and a whore in the bedroom," one normally cannot be both a wife and a whore. "Combine this with the fact that marriage can be an important source of income for women, and it follows that prostitution must pay better than other jobs to compensate for the opportunity cost of forgone-marriage market earnings," Edlund and Korn conclude.
Ouch.
Another zinger: "This begs the question of why married men go to prostitutes (rather than buying from their wives, who presumably will be low-cost providers, considering that they can sell nonreproductive sex without compromising their marriage)." Guys, nothing says "Happy Valentine's Day" more than "low-cost provider."
Of course, it's easy to pour cold water on some of the assumptions made in Edlund and Korn's mathematical model. But these so-called "stylized facts" are supposed to predict human behavior; they don't necessarily pretend to mirror it.
In particular, the assumption that there is no "third way" between wife and whore is problematic, if not outright offensive: "The third alternative, working in a regular job but not marrying, can be ruled out, since we assume that the only downside of marriage for a woman is the forgone opportunity for prostitution."
Be sure to let all your married friends know what they're missing.
Also, the emphasis on the utility of children is puzzling. In most Western democracies, fertility rates have plummeted as wealth has increased. Empirically, men not only buy fewer whores as they get richer, but they have fewer children.
Still, the economic analysis of marriage explains one age-old phenomenon: gold digging.
"In particular, does our analysis justify the popular belief that more beautiful, charming and talented women tend to marry wealthier and more successful men?" wrote Becker. His answer: "A positive sorting of nonmarket traits with nonhuman wealth always, and with earnings power, usually, maximizes commodity output over all marriages."
In other words, yes, supermodels do prefer aging billionaires. And Gary Becker proved it mathematically decades before The Donald married Melania.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Sign seen in a small restaurant:
Sign seen in a small restaurant:
Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends.
Otherwise, send your mother-in-law.
Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends.
Otherwise, send your mother-in-law.
Friday, May 19, 2006
How much playing is going on?
How much playing is going on? Who is really playing who? Has dating become a game?
Thursday, May 18, 2006
The "15 Minutes" debate
This was printed in the Jewish Press last week on Page F2
Marital Intimacy/Sholom Bayis - A Male Opinion
Dear Rachel,
Recently, my wife came home from a sholom bayis shiur all a-glow. The rebbetzin giving the shiur had offered a piece of advice that was sure to bring marital bliss, and my wife was determined to try it. "Fifteen minutes..." the rebbetzin advised, "No matter how hectic your day, make sure that your husband and you have a 15 minute talk to reconnect." Now, I haven't actually spoken to the husbands of the other wives at that shiur but I assume that most of them had the same reaction as I did upon hearing this sage advice. My reaction was "Hogwash!"
Of course I am not saying that this is a waste of time. What I am saying is that every sholom bayis lecture clearly sides with the emotional needs of the woman over the physical needs of the man.
Philosophically speaking, we need to assume that both man and woman were created equal - as well as different from each other. I think it would be safe to say that most women find love emotionally. They love to have their husbands pay attention to them and to what they have on their minds. This is how they connect with their spouses. I think it would also be safe to say that most men find love in the act of marital intimacy, and this is how they chiefly connect with their spouses.
If this is how we men were created, then why is it that women constantly denigrate us men by saying "Oh, that's all you ever think about." Why are our needs any less important than theirs? Why is our need to connect and love treated as inferior? Why is it ignored in every sholom bayis lecture?!
If a marriage is supposed to be 50/50, then logically it would follow that what this rebbetzin should have told my wife is, "For two weeks a month you should set aside 15-30 minutes every night to talk, and for two weeks a month you should set aside the same amount of time and energy for intimacy." She also should have said, "Just as it upsets us women when men are distracted while we are talking to them, it also upsets men when we are distracted in the bedroom."
Now I really don't want to get into the discussion about "well, maybe your wife is too tired, etc.", because I do help around the house and with the kids. But even if I didn't, my point would still be valid - no sholom bayis lecture ever deemed my tiredness from a day of work as an excuse to skip out on a talk with my wife. Shouldn't every woman who uses the "I'm too tired" as a copout feel guilty about ignoring the emotional needs of her husband?
Since that speech, I would say that our sholom bayis has actually gotten worse. Now when I miss a night of talking with my wife, I get lectured about how I am ignoring her. How is it that the same woman who doesn't let me miss a night of connecting with her can easily go ten days without connecting with me? How can she not see the hypocrisy?
In a nutshell, Rachel, if women truly want sholom bayis, they need to view intimacy as "talking" for men. If they'd offer it to us without making us plead, then so much friction between spouses would dissolve. If women are attentive to us in the bedroom, they will truly find us to be more attentive to them when they need it most. And if some rebbetzin would actually verbalize this in a lecture, men across the world could finally stop beating their heads against the wall. Feels like I've been talking to a brick wall for 10 years
Dear Feels,
Your reasoning is logical. The fact is, emotion escapes logic - as in, "You took it the wrong way..." "I didn't mean it the way it sounded...""Why the tears?!" So you see, while your formula seems fair and sensible on paper, trying to enforce it may be something else entirely.
The hard reality is - making a marriage work is a struggle, a true labor of love. All of life, in fact, is about working our way through muddles and hurdles and coming out on top despite the stumbling blocks that test our mettle. And when we do get there, how much sweeter it is than had it come easy.
Lets tell it like it is: there is much to be said for the art of communication, both of the verbal and sensual kind. But you're right - there's a right time for everything. If spouses would strive to be more understanding of one another and to recognize that personalities vary and temperaments, moods and hormones fluctuate, dependent on a host of circumstances, arguments and slights would be greatly diminished and peace and calm would more likely prevail.
The trick is to always strive to "give" to one's other half, rather than to "take." With apologies to JFK, ask not what your spouse can do for you but what you can do for your spouse, and you may be most pleasantly startled to witness the most crucial friendship of your life bloom
Thank you for submitting your thought-provoking and well-expressed sentiments.
It is kind of amazing that this stuff is finally being printed. Bottom line, IMHO, maybe some day soon, magic will happen and people will realize marriage is not a fairy tale?
Marital Intimacy/Sholom Bayis - A Male Opinion
Dear Rachel,
Recently, my wife came home from a sholom bayis shiur all a-glow. The rebbetzin giving the shiur had offered a piece of advice that was sure to bring marital bliss, and my wife was determined to try it. "Fifteen minutes..." the rebbetzin advised, "No matter how hectic your day, make sure that your husband and you have a 15 minute talk to reconnect." Now, I haven't actually spoken to the husbands of the other wives at that shiur but I assume that most of them had the same reaction as I did upon hearing this sage advice. My reaction was "Hogwash!"
Of course I am not saying that this is a waste of time. What I am saying is that every sholom bayis lecture clearly sides with the emotional needs of the woman over the physical needs of the man.
Philosophically speaking, we need to assume that both man and woman were created equal - as well as different from each other. I think it would be safe to say that most women find love emotionally. They love to have their husbands pay attention to them and to what they have on their minds. This is how they connect with their spouses. I think it would also be safe to say that most men find love in the act of marital intimacy, and this is how they chiefly connect with their spouses.
If this is how we men were created, then why is it that women constantly denigrate us men by saying "Oh, that's all you ever think about." Why are our needs any less important than theirs? Why is our need to connect and love treated as inferior? Why is it ignored in every sholom bayis lecture?!
If a marriage is supposed to be 50/50, then logically it would follow that what this rebbetzin should have told my wife is, "For two weeks a month you should set aside 15-30 minutes every night to talk, and for two weeks a month you should set aside the same amount of time and energy for intimacy." She also should have said, "Just as it upsets us women when men are distracted while we are talking to them, it also upsets men when we are distracted in the bedroom."
Now I really don't want to get into the discussion about "well, maybe your wife is too tired, etc.", because I do help around the house and with the kids. But even if I didn't, my point would still be valid - no sholom bayis lecture ever deemed my tiredness from a day of work as an excuse to skip out on a talk with my wife. Shouldn't every woman who uses the "I'm too tired" as a copout feel guilty about ignoring the emotional needs of her husband?
Since that speech, I would say that our sholom bayis has actually gotten worse. Now when I miss a night of talking with my wife, I get lectured about how I am ignoring her. How is it that the same woman who doesn't let me miss a night of connecting with her can easily go ten days without connecting with me? How can she not see the hypocrisy?
In a nutshell, Rachel, if women truly want sholom bayis, they need to view intimacy as "talking" for men. If they'd offer it to us without making us plead, then so much friction between spouses would dissolve. If women are attentive to us in the bedroom, they will truly find us to be more attentive to them when they need it most. And if some rebbetzin would actually verbalize this in a lecture, men across the world could finally stop beating their heads against the wall. Feels like I've been talking to a brick wall for 10 years
Dear Feels,
Your reasoning is logical. The fact is, emotion escapes logic - as in, "You took it the wrong way..." "I didn't mean it the way it sounded...""Why the tears?!" So you see, while your formula seems fair and sensible on paper, trying to enforce it may be something else entirely.
The hard reality is - making a marriage work is a struggle, a true labor of love. All of life, in fact, is about working our way through muddles and hurdles and coming out on top despite the stumbling blocks that test our mettle. And when we do get there, how much sweeter it is than had it come easy.
Lets tell it like it is: there is much to be said for the art of communication, both of the verbal and sensual kind. But you're right - there's a right time for everything. If spouses would strive to be more understanding of one another and to recognize that personalities vary and temperaments, moods and hormones fluctuate, dependent on a host of circumstances, arguments and slights would be greatly diminished and peace and calm would more likely prevail.
The trick is to always strive to "give" to one's other half, rather than to "take." With apologies to JFK, ask not what your spouse can do for you but what you can do for your spouse, and you may be most pleasantly startled to witness the most crucial friendship of your life bloom
Thank you for submitting your thought-provoking and well-expressed sentiments.
It is kind of amazing that this stuff is finally being printed. Bottom line, IMHO, maybe some day soon, magic will happen and people will realize marriage is not a fairy tale?
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Women: Do you think you can change a man?
This has been debated endlessly. Here is some more food for thought.
DON'T SEND YOUR DUCKS TO EAGLE SCHOOL by Jim Rohn
(Excerpted from Leading an Inspired Life)
The first rule of management is this: don't send your ducks to eagle school. Why? Because it won't work. Good people are found not changed. They can change themselves, but you can't change them. You want good people, you have to find them. If you want motivated people, you have to find them, not motivate them.
I picked up a magazine not long ago in New York that had a full-page ad in it for a hotel chain. The first line of the ad read, "We do not teach our people to be nice." Now that got my attention. The second line said, "We hire nice people." I thought, "What a clever shortcut!"
Motivation is a mystery. Why are some people motivated and some are not? Why does one salesperson see his first prospect at seven in the morning while the other sees his first prospect at eleven in the morning? Why would one start at seven and the other start at eleven? I don't know. Call it "mysteries of the mind."
I give lectures to a thousand people at a time. One walks out and says, 'I'm going to change my life." Another walks out with a yawn and says, "I've heard all this stuff before." Why is that?
The wealthy man says to a thousand people, "I read this book, and it started me on the road to wealth." Guess how many of the thousand go out and get the book? Answer: very few. Isn't that incredible? Why wouldn't everyone go get the book? Mysteries of the mind...
To one person, you have to say, "You'd better slow down. You can't work that many hours, do that many things, go, go, go. You're going to have a heart attack and die." And to another person, you have to say, "When are you going to get off the couch?" What is the difference? Why wouldn't everyone strive to be wealthy and happy?
Chalk it up to mysteries of the mind, and don't waste your time trying to turn ducks into eagles. Hire people who already have the motivation and drive to be eagles and then just let them soar
DON'T SEND YOUR DUCKS TO EAGLE SCHOOL by Jim Rohn
(Excerpted from Leading an Inspired Life)
The first rule of management is this: don't send your ducks to eagle school. Why? Because it won't work. Good people are found not changed. They can change themselves, but you can't change them. You want good people, you have to find them. If you want motivated people, you have to find them, not motivate them.
I picked up a magazine not long ago in New York that had a full-page ad in it for a hotel chain. The first line of the ad read, "We do not teach our people to be nice." Now that got my attention. The second line said, "We hire nice people." I thought, "What a clever shortcut!"
Motivation is a mystery. Why are some people motivated and some are not? Why does one salesperson see his first prospect at seven in the morning while the other sees his first prospect at eleven in the morning? Why would one start at seven and the other start at eleven? I don't know. Call it "mysteries of the mind."
I give lectures to a thousand people at a time. One walks out and says, 'I'm going to change my life." Another walks out with a yawn and says, "I've heard all this stuff before." Why is that?
The wealthy man says to a thousand people, "I read this book, and it started me on the road to wealth." Guess how many of the thousand go out and get the book? Answer: very few. Isn't that incredible? Why wouldn't everyone go get the book? Mysteries of the mind...
To one person, you have to say, "You'd better slow down. You can't work that many hours, do that many things, go, go, go. You're going to have a heart attack and die." And to another person, you have to say, "When are you going to get off the couch?" What is the difference? Why wouldn't everyone strive to be wealthy and happy?
Chalk it up to mysteries of the mind, and don't waste your time trying to turn ducks into eagles. Hire people who already have the motivation and drive to be eagles and then just let them soar
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
HOW TO SPEAK AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore ....
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore ....
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
Sunday, May 14, 2006
The Birth Order Of Children
Your Clothes:
a.. 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
b.. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
c.. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
a.. 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
b.. 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
c.. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:
a.. 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
b.. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
c.. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries:
a.. 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
b.. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when his/her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
c.. 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Pacifier:
a.. 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
b.. 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
c.. 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering:
a.. 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
b.. 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
c.. 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities:
a.. 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
b.. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
c.. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out:
a.. 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
b.. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
c.. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
a.. 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
b.. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
c.. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins:
a.. 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
b.. 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
c.. 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!
GRANDCHILDREN: ...G-d's reward for allowing your children to live
a.. 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
b.. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
c.. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
a.. 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
b.. 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
c.. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:
a.. 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
b.. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
c.. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries:
a.. 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
b.. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when his/her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
c.. 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Pacifier:
a.. 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
b.. 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
c.. 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering:
a.. 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
b.. 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
c.. 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities:
a.. 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
b.. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
c.. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out:
a.. 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
b.. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
c.. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
a.. 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
b.. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
c.. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins:
a.. 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
b.. 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
c.. 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!
GRANDCHILDREN: ...G-d's reward for allowing your children to live
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Why Men Dump Women
Got this article, written by a woman. Do any men disagree?
Why Men Dump Women By Laura Snyder
They sure have enough excuses - "I need more space," "I think we'd be better off as friends," - but what are the real reasons men leave their ladies? We get behind the old saw, "It's not you, it's me," to find out.
The Thrill is Gone
Oh, he won't admit it's the whole reason, but it may well be. When he starts feeling like he's seen your whole bag of sexual tricks, or you're not that mysterious, glamorous creature you were when you started dating, he starts getting the itch to get out. Some men get far too caught up in the fantasy thing. Once that mystery and enchantment is gone - oh, say, about the time you ask him to pick up some tampons for you at the store - he will be, too.
You've Changed
Shallow? Uh-huh, but it's true: if you've stopped taking care of your appearance once you've got him hooked, he'll use that as a reason to bail. (Incidentally, he's more likely to stick it out if he's let himself go, too).
You Tried to Change Him
It's practically a cliché by now, how women fall for the "bad boy" with the mistaken assumption that they can remake him into the man of their dreams. It's dangerous enough even to try. But if you actually succeed, you can start counting the minutes until he cuts the cord. In an effort to get back to being that free spirit he once was, he'll change his surroundings - starting with you.
He Can't Breathe
Sure, he loves attention, but if your adoration starts feeling suffocating, he'll bolt. Ditto if your union is marked with too many quarrels, too much jealousy, or your unabating need for his reassurance of how special you are, how solid your relationship is, and how much you can trust him.
You're Not His Ideal
He went into your relationship with an unrealistic idea of who you were and what kind of couple the two of you would be. Now that he's realized you're not perfect (!), he's going to look for someone who is. Wish him luck.
IMHO, all of the above is testament that if the purpose of marriage is just for the physical intimacy it will not last! It also,IMHO, is an indication that sex before marriage will most of time mislead people to the true reason and purpose of marriage.
Why Men Dump Women By Laura Snyder
They sure have enough excuses - "I need more space," "I think we'd be better off as friends," - but what are the real reasons men leave their ladies? We get behind the old saw, "It's not you, it's me," to find out.
The Thrill is Gone
Oh, he won't admit it's the whole reason, but it may well be. When he starts feeling like he's seen your whole bag of sexual tricks, or you're not that mysterious, glamorous creature you were when you started dating, he starts getting the itch to get out. Some men get far too caught up in the fantasy thing. Once that mystery and enchantment is gone - oh, say, about the time you ask him to pick up some tampons for you at the store - he will be, too.
You've Changed
Shallow? Uh-huh, but it's true: if you've stopped taking care of your appearance once you've got him hooked, he'll use that as a reason to bail. (Incidentally, he's more likely to stick it out if he's let himself go, too).
You Tried to Change Him
It's practically a cliché by now, how women fall for the "bad boy" with the mistaken assumption that they can remake him into the man of their dreams. It's dangerous enough even to try. But if you actually succeed, you can start counting the minutes until he cuts the cord. In an effort to get back to being that free spirit he once was, he'll change his surroundings - starting with you.
He Can't Breathe
Sure, he loves attention, but if your adoration starts feeling suffocating, he'll bolt. Ditto if your union is marked with too many quarrels, too much jealousy, or your unabating need for his reassurance of how special you are, how solid your relationship is, and how much you can trust him.
You're Not His Ideal
He went into your relationship with an unrealistic idea of who you were and what kind of couple the two of you would be. Now that he's realized you're not perfect (!), he's going to look for someone who is. Wish him luck.
IMHO, all of the above is testament that if the purpose of marriage is just for the physical intimacy it will not last! It also,IMHO, is an indication that sex before marriage will most of time mislead people to the true reason and purpose of marriage.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
The true reason why dating and marriage are impossible today
Once upon a time (whenever) marriage was more about giving whereas now it is more about getting. It is getting to a point where it is all about getting, "what can you offer/give me?".
I love this cartoon which captures the complete picture. : )
This is the one of the best pictures I can relate to anyone dating out there and to what we matchmakers are up against.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
4 little ANIMALS
(You've got to love this little girl. What a woman she'll make!)
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want Out of life is four little animals, just like my Mom always says".
The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be?"
The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."
The teacher fainted.
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want Out of life is four little animals, just like my Mom always says".
The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be?"
The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."
The teacher fainted.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
The NON-DATE date
The madness of dating, IMHO, is going out of control. Dates are becoming NON-DATES DATES.
This problem is not exclusive to any dating circle of age and/or level of religious practice.
In fact, even by the Ultra-Orthodox/Yeshivish Black Hat/Hasidish/Heimish this has become the style. Everything is done with an attitude and in a place under the guise because we do not want to hurt the other side. Therefore, if it is not a date date, then the other individual will not get hurt.
How brainless is this?
uggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Loving Equally
Loving Equally By Nicole Peters, fifteen
My parents had been married for eighteen years and dating since my mother was fourteen. Their marriage had been on the rocks for as long as I can remember. They had talked about divorcing many times but never went through with it for the sake of their only child, me.
One of their last fights that I can remember was very physical. My parents destroyed all of each other's belongings, and it soon came to the point where there was nothing left in the house that wasn't demolished. There were holes in the walls and just pieces of everything covering the floor.
My father shoved my mother around and bruised her prettily badly, and I had to witness it all with my fourteen-year-old eyes.
Before I knew it, we were in court and I had to make the decision of whose hands to put my life into. I had to choose which parent I would live with every day. I felt like my heart was being cut out of my chest and my parents were tugging at each end of it. I loved both of my parents, and I knew one way or the other I was going to hurt one of them. After I thought for a while, I decided to live with my mom even though I knew my dad would be upset.
But it was much harder than I thought it would be. My mom was always talking about my dad and how terrible she thought he was. She still held a lot of anger inside of her heart, and she wanted to get back at my dad through me. I felt like she wanted me to love only her and to despise my father. Because I loved my dad, too, I was upset a lot and we started to argue all the time.
Nine months later, I went to live with my dad because my mother and I could no longer stand each other. I was blaming her for my feelings of confusion and anger. At first, it was better with my dad, but after only a week he started doing the same thing that my mother had been doing – only in reverse. My dad seemed to want me to have a lot of feelings of hatred towards my mother. I stuck it out at his house for a while. Then I began to see that he wasn't as interested in me as I thought that he would be. He never asked me when I would be home or who I was hanging out with. I had pretty much all the freedom I wanted. Without any curfews or rules, I began to feel like he didn't even care about me. I began partying too much, and my life was getting completely off track.
After I had a few fights with my dad and spent many nights alone, crying myself to sleep, I realized that I had to figure out what to do.
I realized that there were ups and downs about living with both of them. They both had their faults and made mistakes. Neither of them wanted to admit their own mistakes, and they were quick to point out the mistakes of the other. There was no way for me to decide who was right or who was wrong. I couldn't love one of them more than the other and leave the other one behind. I decided that I had to love both parents equally.
I could no longer let them influence me and take control of my feelings so easily. I began by asking them to please keep their feeling for each other to themselves. I think that they tried, but it didn't work. When that failed, I realized that I would have to do this myself. I'd just have to try and be strong and ignore what they said about each other. As soon as I made that decision, I felt more in control and my life began to change.
My mom and dad still say things out of anger about each other and they don't speak to one another. But do you know what? That's their problem. Not mine. I'm doing the best I can to be fair to both of them. In my life, it has been a welcome change to not get caught up in their personal battles, but to focus on loving them instead.
Reprinted by permission of Nicole Peters and Carol Skinner(c) 1999 Mary Saracino from Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen and Irene Dunlap. In order to protect the rights of the copyright holder, no portion of this publication may be reproduced without prior written consent. All rights reserved.
My parents had been married for eighteen years and dating since my mother was fourteen. Their marriage had been on the rocks for as long as I can remember. They had talked about divorcing many times but never went through with it for the sake of their only child, me.
One of their last fights that I can remember was very physical. My parents destroyed all of each other's belongings, and it soon came to the point where there was nothing left in the house that wasn't demolished. There were holes in the walls and just pieces of everything covering the floor.
My father shoved my mother around and bruised her prettily badly, and I had to witness it all with my fourteen-year-old eyes.
Before I knew it, we were in court and I had to make the decision of whose hands to put my life into. I had to choose which parent I would live with every day. I felt like my heart was being cut out of my chest and my parents were tugging at each end of it. I loved both of my parents, and I knew one way or the other I was going to hurt one of them. After I thought for a while, I decided to live with my mom even though I knew my dad would be upset.
But it was much harder than I thought it would be. My mom was always talking about my dad and how terrible she thought he was. She still held a lot of anger inside of her heart, and she wanted to get back at my dad through me. I felt like she wanted me to love only her and to despise my father. Because I loved my dad, too, I was upset a lot and we started to argue all the time.
Nine months later, I went to live with my dad because my mother and I could no longer stand each other. I was blaming her for my feelings of confusion and anger. At first, it was better with my dad, but after only a week he started doing the same thing that my mother had been doing – only in reverse. My dad seemed to want me to have a lot of feelings of hatred towards my mother. I stuck it out at his house for a while. Then I began to see that he wasn't as interested in me as I thought that he would be. He never asked me when I would be home or who I was hanging out with. I had pretty much all the freedom I wanted. Without any curfews or rules, I began to feel like he didn't even care about me. I began partying too much, and my life was getting completely off track.
After I had a few fights with my dad and spent many nights alone, crying myself to sleep, I realized that I had to figure out what to do.
I realized that there were ups and downs about living with both of them. They both had their faults and made mistakes. Neither of them wanted to admit their own mistakes, and they were quick to point out the mistakes of the other. There was no way for me to decide who was right or who was wrong. I couldn't love one of them more than the other and leave the other one behind. I decided that I had to love both parents equally.
I could no longer let them influence me and take control of my feelings so easily. I began by asking them to please keep their feeling for each other to themselves. I think that they tried, but it didn't work. When that failed, I realized that I would have to do this myself. I'd just have to try and be strong and ignore what they said about each other. As soon as I made that decision, I felt more in control and my life began to change.
My mom and dad still say things out of anger about each other and they don't speak to one another. But do you know what? That's their problem. Not mine. I'm doing the best I can to be fair to both of them. In my life, it has been a welcome change to not get caught up in their personal battles, but to focus on loving them instead.
Reprinted by permission of Nicole Peters and Carol Skinner(c) 1999 Mary Saracino from Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen and Irene Dunlap. In order to protect the rights of the copyright holder, no portion of this publication may be reproduced without prior written consent. All rights reserved.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Men strike back!
Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, G-d created the earth and rested. Then G-d created Man and rested. Then G-d created Woman. Since then, neither G-d nor Man has rested.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, G-d created the earth and rested. Then G-d created Man and rested. Then G-d created Woman. Since then, neither G-d nor Man has rested.
Does anyone have a Married/Single/Divorced version?
YOURSELF
YOUR BUYER
YOUR LENDER
YOUR APPRAISER
YOUR TAX ASSESSOR
YOUR BUYER
YOUR LENDER
YOUR APPRAISER
YOUR TAX ASSESSOR
Friday, April 21, 2006
"We've only just met and already you're asking for things."
FOR ALMOST A YEAR I'd been commuting at rush hour on the busiest part of the New Jersey Turnpike. After doing battle with aggressive drivers and bumper-to-bumper congestion, I longed for human contact by the time I reached the toll booths at my exit. At first I'd tried to coax a nod or grin from the toll collectors with a cheerful "Good morning," but I rarely got a response and finally gave up. Then one day, my faith in the indomitable human spirit was restored. In response to my usual, "Receipt, please," the attendant deadpanned, "We've only just met and already you're asking for things."
--Contributed to "All In a Day's Work" by Rosemarie Noone
Why do we think that all or most of our expectations will be met by our "better half"? Is it because we had parents that spoiled us or the opposite?
Is it any wonder when we consume all the negative stories of relationships that we give up on marriage?
What about all these unrealistic romantic stories that get consumed for entertainment and all of a sudden it becomes expectations?
IMHO no romantic novels and or movies and etc., should be able to be had without a prescription, just like medical prescriptions!!!
--Contributed to "All In a Day's Work" by Rosemarie Noone
Why do we think that all or most of our expectations will be met by our "better half"? Is it because we had parents that spoiled us or the opposite?
Is it any wonder when we consume all the negative stories of relationships that we give up on marriage?
What about all these unrealistic romantic stories that get consumed for entertainment and all of a sudden it becomes expectations?
IMHO no romantic novels and or movies and etc., should be able to be had without a prescription, just like medical prescriptions!!!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Can one date without dating?
When is it considered a date?
I find that this is a problem from both sides of the aisle.
It also seems to lack definition whether one is Religious or Non-Religious.
Actually everyone seems to have their own definition. No wonder 97% of people are afraid of dating.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Friday, April 07, 2006
Wife being the mother syndrome?
What is the truth here, are men children or do women want to be mothers?
Why can't husband and wives define their relationships?
Thursday, April 06, 2006
"I am serving supper now !!"
"I am serving supper now !!" -
Is this a sign of servitude or is it a command? How did the word serve come in here, or was it always that the wife was a servant?
Does the fact that the husband was the "provider" make him the Boss/Owner/Lord?
Does the fact that the roles have changed or become equal redefine this marriage relationship? What about where the roles have NOT changed?
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
I am ready to marry a frog
Moshe was very frustrated and told his friend Yakov, "I can't take this dating business anymore, I am ready to marry a frog."
To this Yakov replied, "Why don't you kiss the frog and it will turn into a princess?"
"Can't", said Moshe, "She is shomer negiah."
To this Yakov replied, "Why don't you kiss the frog and it will turn into a princess?"
"Can't", said Moshe, "She is shomer negiah."
Are woman that suffocating?
Are woman that suffocating, or is it just that men are using that for an argument?
How much attention is enough?
How much privacy are spouses allowed?
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
** Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006**
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two states: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
**AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006**
We know exactly where ONE cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America. BUT we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!!!
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two states: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
**AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006**
We know exactly where ONE cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America. BUT we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!!!
Forgot girlfriend's birthday?
Who was the 1st woman that got mad at her boyfriend for forgetting her birthday? How did this become worse than murder? How is this being perpetuated that it installs such fear in men?
I did research some history about birthdays and it was a idol worship type of practice. Does that mean that it was some woman who wanted to be worshiped as a god that started this? If that is the case, who was the first man that submitted to this?
Either way, is this a good enough reason to destroy a date and a possible good marriage?
Never to be turned down for a date?
I do find that MANY do not accept dates because they are afraid of being turned down. Therefore they turn down the suggested date first.
What has become common in some circles, that it has become a game of who can turn down more dates.
Need I say more?
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up after you and has a good job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up after you and has a good job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Jewish widow
A Jewish woman's husband dies. He only had $30,000 to his name. After everything was done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is none of the $30,000 left. The friend said, "How can that be?"
The widow said, "Well, the funeral cost me $6,500. And of course I made a donation to the shul ...that was $500, and I spent another $500 for food and drinks for the people when I was sitting shiva. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Her friend said, "$22,500 for the memorial stone? My God, how big is it?"
The widow said, "Three carats."
The widow said, "Well, the funeral cost me $6,500. And of course I made a donation to the shul ...that was $500, and I spent another $500 for food and drinks for the people when I was sitting shiva. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Her friend said, "$22,500 for the memorial stone? My God, how big is it?"
The widow said, "Three carats."
Monday, March 27, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN NOW:**HOW TO REFER TO WOMEN NOW:
I would not usually post something like this. The language is not exactly "heimishe". What I did like about it is the creativeness of being able to use positive communication if one wants to? Although I do realize here the intent might not have been so, but it could have been.
The other point here is, if we do have this "hostile" view of each opposite gender, is it any wonder that we can not connect? In fact many accept the following as fact, which is kind of sad.
Is there a way that we can can focus on the positive side of us, and bring out the better side of each other?
HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN NOW:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
3. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
4. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
5. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
6. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
7 He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
8. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
9. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
10. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"
HOW TO REFER TO WOMEN NOW:
1. She is not a "BABE", "LADY" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED CANADIAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
The other point here is, if we do have this "hostile" view of each opposite gender, is it any wonder that we can not connect? In fact many accept the following as fact, which is kind of sad.
Is there a way that we can can focus on the positive side of us, and bring out the better side of each other?
HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN NOW:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
3. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
4. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
5. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
6. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
7 He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
8. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
9. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
10. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"
HOW TO REFER TO WOMEN NOW:
1. She is not a "BABE", "LADY" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED CANADIAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
Friday, March 24, 2006
Jewish dating ads
Shochet, owns successful butcher shop in Midwest. Doesn't believe women should be treated like a piece of meat.
Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion is not important.
Sincere rabbinical student, Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha B'av, Taanah Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva Asar B'Tammuz. Seeks companion for living life in the "fast" lane.
Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman.
Nice Jewish guy, No skeletons. No baggage. No personality.
Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please.
Jewish businessman, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker.
Israeli professor, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good.
I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I'll understand your insecurities. No fatties, please.
Jewish Princess, seeks successful businessman of any major Jewish denomination: hundreds, fifties, twenties.
Desparately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK.
Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion is not important.
Sincere rabbinical student, Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha B'av, Taanah Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva Asar B'Tammuz. Seeks companion for living life in the "fast" lane.
Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman.
Nice Jewish guy, No skeletons. No baggage. No personality.
Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please.
Jewish businessman, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker.
Israeli professor, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good.
I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I'll understand your insecurities. No fatties, please.
Jewish Princess, seeks successful businessman of any major Jewish denomination: hundreds, fifties, twenties.
Desparately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
I'll know I'm a success when.....
How is it that having a great marriage is usually not called "success" ? Is it possible that it is unattainable? Is it because it is just too much "work"? Is it ignorance? Is it that most do not see any happy marriages?
Is this proof that "success" is a product of the "me" syndrome?
IMHO, it is attainable and it takes a lot work. In fact, every day is a new beginning of balancing giving and taking. Most people are not educated how to do that; therefore, we see few happy marriages.
I propose, as many others do, that before one sets out to date to get married they should take advice and education on how to. Then we will see marriage as being one of the successful endeavors.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Wanted: A Few Good Sperm
This NY Times article begines with a Jewish female's story;
One day last October, Karyn, a 39-year-old executive, pulled her online dating profile off JDate and Match.com, two sites she had been using, along with an endless series of leads, tips and blind dates arranged by friends and colleagues, to search for a man she wanted to marry and raise a family with. At long last, after something like 100 dates in the past 10 years and several serious relationships, she had found the man she refers to, tongue only slightly in cheek, as "the one." It all began last summer, when she broke off a relationship with a younger man who wasn't ready for children and got serious about the idea of conceiving on her own. She gathered information about fertility doctors and sperm banks. "Then a childhood friend of mine was over," she told me. "I pulled up the Web site of the only sperm bank that I know of that has adult photos. There happened to be one Jewish person. I pulled up the photo, and I looked at my friend, and I looked at his picture, and I said, 'Oh, my God.' I can't say love at first sight, because, you know. But he was the one."
What is the purpose of having children? Is it the same purpose for having Jewish children? Is there a different purpose based on what type of Jew one is?
Is it the same purpose of why women want children? Do men and women have the same purpose of having children?
When is the correct age to start having children?
Is the fact that today we have a "choice" as in "sperm banks and etc.", make us less serious in dating and/or compromising in the choice of our choosing a spouse?
For me as a Shadchun, stories like this confirm to me why the dating scene has become so difficult. One of the questions I ask is; "How much time after the marriage would you start having children?". Most answer that they want to wait several years. It makes me wonder what is it that they truly want.
Then there is the simple question; is having children a purpose to get married in the first place?
One day last October, Karyn, a 39-year-old executive, pulled her online dating profile off JDate and Match.com, two sites she had been using, along with an endless series of leads, tips and blind dates arranged by friends and colleagues, to search for a man she wanted to marry and raise a family with. At long last, after something like 100 dates in the past 10 years and several serious relationships, she had found the man she refers to, tongue only slightly in cheek, as "the one." It all began last summer, when she broke off a relationship with a younger man who wasn't ready for children and got serious about the idea of conceiving on her own. She gathered information about fertility doctors and sperm banks. "Then a childhood friend of mine was over," she told me. "I pulled up the Web site of the only sperm bank that I know of that has adult photos. There happened to be one Jewish person. I pulled up the photo, and I looked at my friend, and I looked at his picture, and I said, 'Oh, my God.' I can't say love at first sight, because, you know. But he was the one."
What is the purpose of having children? Is it the same purpose for having Jewish children? Is there a different purpose based on what type of Jew one is?
Is it the same purpose of why women want children? Do men and women have the same purpose of having children?
When is the correct age to start having children?
Is the fact that today we have a "choice" as in "sperm banks and etc.", make us less serious in dating and/or compromising in the choice of our choosing a spouse?
For me as a Shadchun, stories like this confirm to me why the dating scene has become so difficult. One of the questions I ask is; "How much time after the marriage would you start having children?". Most answer that they want to wait several years. It makes me wonder what is it that they truly want.
Then there is the simple question; is having children a purpose to get married in the first place?
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Words From Famous Women ...
"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde." - Dolly Parton
"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job." - Roseanne
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives." - Rita Rudner
"He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant" -Carol Leifer
"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog." -Wendy Liebman
"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on." - Roseanne
"I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT?" - Wendy Liebman
"I think-therefore I'm single" - Lizz Winstead
"Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid." - Hedy Lamarr
"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." - Elayne Boosler
"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." - Gilda Radner
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."- Maryon Pearson
"Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel." -Bella Abzug
"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman." - Margaret Thatcher
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." - Gloria Steinem
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." - GloriaSteinem
"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." - Katharine Hepburn
"I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night." - Marie Corelli
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" - Linda Ellerbee
"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor
"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job." - Roseanne
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives." - Rita Rudner
"He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant" -Carol Leifer
"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog." -Wendy Liebman
"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on." - Roseanne
"I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT?" - Wendy Liebman
"I think-therefore I'm single" - Lizz Winstead
"Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid." - Hedy Lamarr
"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." - Elayne Boosler
"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." - Gilda Radner
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."- Maryon Pearson
"Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel." -Bella Abzug
"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman." - Margaret Thatcher
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." - Gloria Steinem
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." - GloriaSteinem
"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." - Katharine Hepburn
"I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night." - Marie Corelli
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" - Linda Ellerbee
"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Monday, March 13, 2006
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
got this joke from a friend
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention
of driving.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention
of driving.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Looking at "other" women?
This issue has always baffled me.
The ultra-orthodox are made fun of because they do not look at women. ON the secular side the women gets jealous and angry when their husband and/or boyfriend looks at other women.
If women do not want the men to look at other women, then why do they insist to go to places where there is no chance for the men to not look?
Another oxymoron, the woman is dressing or undressing to kill and she will be substantially hurt if not appreciated, while at the same time the husband cannot look!
Who is the problem here?
: )
Monday, March 06, 2006
The more women achieve, the less desirable they are?
Published: January 13, 2005
WASHINGTON
A few years ago at a White House Correspondents' dinner, I met a very beautiful actress. Within moments, she blurted out: "I can't believe I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal assistants or P.R. women."
I'd been noticing a trend along these lines, as famous and powerful men took up with the young women whose job it was to tend to them and care for them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers.
Women in staff support are the new sirens because, as a guy I know put it, they look upon the men they work for as "the moon, the sun and the stars." It's all about orbiting, serving and salaaming their Sun Gods.
In all those great Tracy/Hepburn movies more than a half-century ago, it was the snap and crackle of a romance between equals that was so exciting. Moviemakers these days seem far more interested in the soothing aura of romances between unequals.
In James Brooks's "Spanglish," Adam Sandler, as a Los Angeles chef, falls for his hot Mexican maid. The maid, who cleans up after Mr. Sandler without being able to speak English, is presented as the ideal woman. The wife, played by Téa Leoni, is repellent: a jangly, yakking, overachieving, overexercised, unfaithful, shallow she-monster who has just lost her job with a commercial design firm. Picture Faye Dunaway in "Network" if she'd had to stay home, or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" without the charm.
The same attraction of unequals animated Richard Curtis's "Love Actually," a 2003 holiday hit. The witty and sophisticated British prime minister, played by Hugh Grant, falls for the chubby girl who wheels the tea and scones into his office. A businessman married to the substantial Emma Thompson falls for his sultry secretary. A writer falls for his maid, who speaks only Portuguese.
(I wonder if the trend in making maids who don't speak English heroines is related to the trend of guys who like to watch Kelly Ripa in the morning with the sound turned off?)
Art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection.
As John Schwartz of The New York Times wrote recently, "Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution may be to blame."
A new study by psychology researchers at the University of Michigan, using college undergraduates, suggests that men going for long-term relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than women who are supervisors.
As Dr. Stephanie Brown, the lead author of the study, summed it up for reporters: "Powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less-accomplished women." Men think that women with important jobs are more likely to cheat on them.
"The hypothesis," Dr. Brown said, "is that there are evolutionary pressures on males to take steps to minimize the risk of raising offspring that are not their own." Women, by contrast, did not show a marked difference in their attraction to men who might work above or below them. And men did not show a preference when it came to one-night stands.
A second study, which was by researchers at four British universities and reported last week, suggested that smart men with demanding jobs would rather have old-fashioned wives, like their mums, than equals. The study found that a high I.Q. hampers a woman's chance to get married, while it is a plus for men.
The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.
So was the feminist movement some sort of cruel hoax?
The more women achieve, the less desirable they are?
Women want to be in a relationship with guys they can seriously talk to -
unfortunately, a lot of those guys want to be in relationships with women they don't have to talk to.
I asked the actress and writer Carrie Fisher, on the East Coast to promote her novel "The Best Awful," who confirmed that women who challenge men are in trouble.
"I haven't dated in 12 million years," she said drily. "I gave up on dating powerful men because they wanted to date women in the service professions. So I decided to date guys in the service professions. But then I found out that kings want to be treated like kings, and consorts want to be treated like kings, too."
WASHINGTON
A few years ago at a White House Correspondents' dinner, I met a very beautiful actress. Within moments, she blurted out: "I can't believe I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal assistants or P.R. women."
I'd been noticing a trend along these lines, as famous and powerful men took up with the young women whose job it was to tend to them and care for them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers.
Women in staff support are the new sirens because, as a guy I know put it, they look upon the men they work for as "the moon, the sun and the stars." It's all about orbiting, serving and salaaming their Sun Gods.
In all those great Tracy/Hepburn movies more than a half-century ago, it was the snap and crackle of a romance between equals that was so exciting. Moviemakers these days seem far more interested in the soothing aura of romances between unequals.
In James Brooks's "Spanglish," Adam Sandler, as a Los Angeles chef, falls for his hot Mexican maid. The maid, who cleans up after Mr. Sandler without being able to speak English, is presented as the ideal woman. The wife, played by Téa Leoni, is repellent: a jangly, yakking, overachieving, overexercised, unfaithful, shallow she-monster who has just lost her job with a commercial design firm. Picture Faye Dunaway in "Network" if she'd had to stay home, or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" without the charm.
The same attraction of unequals animated Richard Curtis's "Love Actually," a 2003 holiday hit. The witty and sophisticated British prime minister, played by Hugh Grant, falls for the chubby girl who wheels the tea and scones into his office. A businessman married to the substantial Emma Thompson falls for his sultry secretary. A writer falls for his maid, who speaks only Portuguese.
(I wonder if the trend in making maids who don't speak English heroines is related to the trend of guys who like to watch Kelly Ripa in the morning with the sound turned off?)
Art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection.
As John Schwartz of The New York Times wrote recently, "Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution may be to blame."
A new study by psychology researchers at the University of Michigan, using college undergraduates, suggests that men going for long-term relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than women who are supervisors.
As Dr. Stephanie Brown, the lead author of the study, summed it up for reporters: "Powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less-accomplished women." Men think that women with important jobs are more likely to cheat on them.
"The hypothesis," Dr. Brown said, "is that there are evolutionary pressures on males to take steps to minimize the risk of raising offspring that are not their own." Women, by contrast, did not show a marked difference in their attraction to men who might work above or below them. And men did not show a preference when it came to one-night stands.
A second study, which was by researchers at four British universities and reported last week, suggested that smart men with demanding jobs would rather have old-fashioned wives, like their mums, than equals. The study found that a high I.Q. hampers a woman's chance to get married, while it is a plus for men.
The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.
So was the feminist movement some sort of cruel hoax?
The more women achieve, the less desirable they are?
Women want to be in a relationship with guys they can seriously talk to -
unfortunately, a lot of those guys want to be in relationships with women they don't have to talk to.
I asked the actress and writer Carrie Fisher, on the East Coast to promote her novel "The Best Awful," who confirmed that women who challenge men are in trouble.
"I haven't dated in 12 million years," she said drily. "I gave up on dating powerful men because they wanted to date women in the service professions. So I decided to date guys in the service professions. But then I found out that kings want to be treated like kings, and consorts want to be treated like kings, too."
Sunday, March 05, 2006
A Bocher's proposal
I can say that I am getting dizzy at the creative shidduch process these days.
Here is a video proposal from Noach Klein to his bashert. Here is the Mazel Tov posted at onlysimchas.com
Is this going to begin a new trend?
Here is a video proposal from Noach Klein to his bashert. Here is the Mazel Tov posted at onlysimchas.com
Is this going to begin a new trend?
Friday, March 03, 2006
Are men dense or just clueless and ignorant?
Are men dense or just clueless and ignorant? Was it always this way?
My educated guess is that humans and especially women never had choices as today, therefore there was always the "status quo". Therefore women were a class like all classes.
Nowadays there are classes based on different possibilities and men have not caught up with this reality.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Soulmates -13 Steps to Love
by Rabbi Joshua Ritchie, M.D. Dean, Refuah Institute
Searching for a marriage partner often is a daunting process, full of difficult and painful experiences.
Many singles create shopping lists with all the qualities they believe their true Soulmates must have. They make their candidates jump through hoops as they search for the one that will make them happy. This screening does not guarantee a good marriage. All these check lists only make finding a mate harder, for who can possibly meet all the criteria? And when a candidate is found lacking, according to the list, a real Soulmate can be turned away.
What ensures a good, happy marriage? Experience and research reveals that the most important elements in a successful marriage are good midot (quality of character and behavior) and communication skills. My booklet, "13 STEPS TO HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIPS", enumerates these essential qualities. This succinct list describes the skills that are so vital to nurture in oneself and to recognize in others.
You can find your Soulmate and live happily ever after with these 13 Steps:
13 Steps to Harmonious Relationships
Step 1. Be Understanding
Understand with empathy. Listen attentively, with compassion. Ask clarifying and open-ended questions to fully understand and to show your interest. Communicate your understanding with "active listening" and by responding in a non-critical and non-defensive way.
Step 2. Be Respectful
Honor each person by showing positive regard and respect. Relate to the essential goodness of each person, even when it is hidden. Recognize their great potential. Show them that you know how precious and valuable they are by expressing respect and appreciation.
Step 3. Be Sincere
Be genuine. Be really present with authentic and sincere interest. Share your best self, your highest feelings, your soulful connection, your caring and desire to help.
Step 4. Be Exemplary
Teach by example. Be a living example of what you want to teach. Inspire others with your positive attitude, joyful feelings and actions. Be a good role model.
Step 5. Be Clear
Communicate well. Speak their language, verbal and non-verbal, to build rapport, comfort and trust. For good communication, speak in ways that allows them to understand you, and in ways, such as by accurately summarizing and reflecting what they have said, so that they feel heard and understood.
Step 6. Be Encouraging
Praise other people's positive attributes and express admiration and appreciation for their talents, qualities, accomplishments, values and courage. Validate their feelings and normalize their reactions. Acknowledge and endorse their positive aspirations such as their desire to learn and grow.
Step 7. Be Supportive
Support and assist sensitively and compassionately with information, referrals, contacts, endorsements, backing, coaching, mentoring, teaching and training.
Step 8. Be Empowering
Empower others by supporting them in making their own decisions. Gently offer guidance in clarifying goals, considering consequences and choosing accomplishable steps. Their successes will increase their self-respect, confidence, sense of responsibility and empowerment.
Step 9. Be Prayerful & Optimistic
Optimistically trust in the essential goodness and growth of others .Visualize a harmonious relationship, seeing the other blessed in light and love, protected and growing. Prayers, blessings, affirmations and visualizations are powerful forces, benefiting everyone!
Step 10. Be Grateful & Gracious
Express your gratitude. Show your appreciation. Be specific with your thanks and gratitude in a timely fashion. Be grateful and acknowledge what others mean to you. Showing gratitude works wonders. Be gracious and find grace in the eyes of the Creator and of Mankind.
Step 11. Be Kind & Caring
Being kind and caring is our true calling, our soul's divine nature. The benevolent giving of ourselves, with kind gestures, caring attitudes, and actions, is a blessing and healing for those we give to, and are a blessing and healing for ourselves.
Step 12. Be A Good Friend
A good friend allows us to give, as well as to receive and feel appreciated. Even when friends are not equally capable, each has something to give the other. Creating opportunities for the other to give and gratefully receiving their gifts are the acts of a good friend.
Step 13. Be Loving
To love is to give, unselfishly, "l'shmah". It is noteworthy and not a coincidence that 13 is the Gematria of both Love and Oneness! God created us with love and He instructed us to love Him and His creation. Love is our soul's calling. Our destiny is to be loving, emulating the qualities of God. Love is nurturing & healing, stimulating emotional, spiritual physical growth & development.
Following the path of these 13 Steps in your search for your soul mate, you can expect to find, recognize and attract your Soulmate walking on the very same path
Searching for a marriage partner often is a daunting process, full of difficult and painful experiences.
Many singles create shopping lists with all the qualities they believe their true Soulmates must have. They make their candidates jump through hoops as they search for the one that will make them happy. This screening does not guarantee a good marriage. All these check lists only make finding a mate harder, for who can possibly meet all the criteria? And when a candidate is found lacking, according to the list, a real Soulmate can be turned away.
What ensures a good, happy marriage? Experience and research reveals that the most important elements in a successful marriage are good midot (quality of character and behavior) and communication skills. My booklet, "13 STEPS TO HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIPS", enumerates these essential qualities. This succinct list describes the skills that are so vital to nurture in oneself and to recognize in others.
You can find your Soulmate and live happily ever after with these 13 Steps:
13 Steps to Harmonious Relationships
Step 1. Be Understanding
Understand with empathy. Listen attentively, with compassion. Ask clarifying and open-ended questions to fully understand and to show your interest. Communicate your understanding with "active listening" and by responding in a non-critical and non-defensive way.
Step 2. Be Respectful
Honor each person by showing positive regard and respect. Relate to the essential goodness of each person, even when it is hidden. Recognize their great potential. Show them that you know how precious and valuable they are by expressing respect and appreciation.
Step 3. Be Sincere
Be genuine. Be really present with authentic and sincere interest. Share your best self, your highest feelings, your soulful connection, your caring and desire to help.
Step 4. Be Exemplary
Teach by example. Be a living example of what you want to teach. Inspire others with your positive attitude, joyful feelings and actions. Be a good role model.
Step 5. Be Clear
Communicate well. Speak their language, verbal and non-verbal, to build rapport, comfort and trust. For good communication, speak in ways that allows them to understand you, and in ways, such as by accurately summarizing and reflecting what they have said, so that they feel heard and understood.
Step 6. Be Encouraging
Praise other people's positive attributes and express admiration and appreciation for their talents, qualities, accomplishments, values and courage. Validate their feelings and normalize their reactions. Acknowledge and endorse their positive aspirations such as their desire to learn and grow.
Step 7. Be Supportive
Support and assist sensitively and compassionately with information, referrals, contacts, endorsements, backing, coaching, mentoring, teaching and training.
Step 8. Be Empowering
Empower others by supporting them in making their own decisions. Gently offer guidance in clarifying goals, considering consequences and choosing accomplishable steps. Their successes will increase their self-respect, confidence, sense of responsibility and empowerment.
Step 9. Be Prayerful & Optimistic
Optimistically trust in the essential goodness and growth of others .Visualize a harmonious relationship, seeing the other blessed in light and love, protected and growing. Prayers, blessings, affirmations and visualizations are powerful forces, benefiting everyone!
Step 10. Be Grateful & Gracious
Express your gratitude. Show your appreciation. Be specific with your thanks and gratitude in a timely fashion. Be grateful and acknowledge what others mean to you. Showing gratitude works wonders. Be gracious and find grace in the eyes of the Creator and of Mankind.
Step 11. Be Kind & Caring
Being kind and caring is our true calling, our soul's divine nature. The benevolent giving of ourselves, with kind gestures, caring attitudes, and actions, is a blessing and healing for those we give to, and are a blessing and healing for ourselves.
Step 12. Be A Good Friend
A good friend allows us to give, as well as to receive and feel appreciated. Even when friends are not equally capable, each has something to give the other. Creating opportunities for the other to give and gratefully receiving their gifts are the acts of a good friend.
Step 13. Be Loving
To love is to give, unselfishly, "l'shmah". It is noteworthy and not a coincidence that 13 is the Gematria of both Love and Oneness! God created us with love and He instructed us to love Him and His creation. Love is our soul's calling. Our destiny is to be loving, emulating the qualities of God. Love is nurturing & healing, stimulating emotional, spiritual physical growth & development.
Following the path of these 13 Steps in your search for your soul mate, you can expect to find, recognize and attract your Soulmate walking on the very same path
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
The rock of my world?
My opinion is that many women's confidence and tolerance about themselves is up and of men is down, more than anytime in history before.
The difference of once upon a time and now is "purpose".
Once upon a time there was more religious purpose, whereas now that is less and the "me" religion is more in the focus.
Are men to blame for this? IMHO yes !! to a large degree.
To Men I say, wise up. To Women I say, do not forget your true purpose.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
celebrating that long?
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks, "Do you know her?" "Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My Goodness", says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
"My Goodness", says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
Friday, February 24, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
The word is spreading- "Listen" is the magic word
I love this. Somehow I do not get tired of the subject of communication. The key to begin communication is to listen, listen , listen and truly listen.
I hope I've reached 1 more person with this post.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Changing Attitudes? I hope so.
I stepped out of my sister's house into the pouring rain and made my way down the driveway. I had spent the day with her in Monsey and was now heading home to Boro Park. It was pitch dark and I was glad to step into the van that provided a door- to-door service from Monsey to Boro Park. The van was full except for one seat in the middle row. I sat down thankfully, glad to be on my way. I was tired from a full day of helping my sister prepare for a simcha and was thankful to be able to doze off.
Behin! d me two women were deeply engrossed in a conversation. I am not a curious person by nature and therefore paid no particular attention to their discussion. Suddenly I heard one of the women raise her voice and ask, "What do you think about the fact that these people are the parents of two children who are unwell, both physically and mentally? Would you let it bother you?"
Here I admit, I did perk up my ears and, although I looked straight ahead nonchalantly at the highway that unrolled in front of us for miles like a black ribbon, I sat upright and listened intently.
"She is a wonderful girl and everything that we are looking for. We are going to meet her parents at the end of the week. I have a strong feeling that this will end in a shidduch between their daughter and our son Moishe. Call it womanly intuition if you must."
Her companion answered, " I think you have the right attitude. This is something to which none o! f us are assured immunity. Why should a girl who is something special, be rejected because of her siblings' condition? It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not something they chose! It was the work of Hashem and He never makes mistakes. Besides these two sons, they have a family of beautiful, healthy children, most of whom are married with lovely children of their own. Who are you, or for that matter, who am I, to judge what the future will bring? If it is bashert, it should be with great mazel and bracha!"
The first woman then related a story about a shidduch where the vort was about to take place, when the father of the kallah discovered that the chassan had a sibling with Down Syndrome. He was so upset and felt so "cheated" that no one had informed him that he refused to allow the engagement to take place! The boy later married a wonderful girl and this man's daughter did not find her basherte for many years. When she finally did marry, her first ! child was born with Down Syndrome.
Following this conversation, there was silence in the car. My cheeks were wet, partially from the raindrops still dripping off my rain hat, but there was another reason too. I was weeping silently with joy as I contemplated the great changes in attitude that have taken place in the years since my first two sons were born over thirty years ago and suffered massive brain injury due to lack of oxygen. After working with them for many years with little or no results, they had to be placed in an institution and I thought my world had come to an end. People did not speak about them in those days. It was a subject to be ignored, and we were very much alone. Now, thirty five years and many healthy, wonderful children later Boruch Hashem, I see, hear and read that it is a changed world. Our disabled children have emerged, and the subject is no longer taboo. There is sharing and caring out there. There is a greater understandin! g and acceptance, and even hands stretched out in assistance.
When we reached the outskirts of Boro Park the driver asked me for my address. I hastily gave an address some ten blocks away from my home and I got out of the van into the downpour that had not abated. I pulled down my rain hat discreetly and murmured a "good-night" keeping my head averted.
You see, dear reader, the lady sitting in the back of the van was scheduled to come meet my husband and myself at the end of the week to discuss the shidduch between our children, their son and our lovely daughter! Although I had heard wonderful things about her, I had never met her. My instincts, too, told me that this shidduch would come to fruition.
I did not want her to recognize me!
Anonymous.
P.S The children are now happily married and I never told my machateneste about that trip and the conversati! on I overheard on the van.
Behin! d me two women were deeply engrossed in a conversation. I am not a curious person by nature and therefore paid no particular attention to their discussion. Suddenly I heard one of the women raise her voice and ask, "What do you think about the fact that these people are the parents of two children who are unwell, both physically and mentally? Would you let it bother you?"
Here I admit, I did perk up my ears and, although I looked straight ahead nonchalantly at the highway that unrolled in front of us for miles like a black ribbon, I sat upright and listened intently.
"She is a wonderful girl and everything that we are looking for. We are going to meet her parents at the end of the week. I have a strong feeling that this will end in a shidduch between their daughter and our son Moishe. Call it womanly intuition if you must."
Her companion answered, " I think you have the right attitude. This is something to which none o! f us are assured immunity. Why should a girl who is something special, be rejected because of her siblings' condition? It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not something they chose! It was the work of Hashem and He never makes mistakes. Besides these two sons, they have a family of beautiful, healthy children, most of whom are married with lovely children of their own. Who are you, or for that matter, who am I, to judge what the future will bring? If it is bashert, it should be with great mazel and bracha!"
The first woman then related a story about a shidduch where the vort was about to take place, when the father of the kallah discovered that the chassan had a sibling with Down Syndrome. He was so upset and felt so "cheated" that no one had informed him that he refused to allow the engagement to take place! The boy later married a wonderful girl and this man's daughter did not find her basherte for many years. When she finally did marry, her first ! child was born with Down Syndrome.
Following this conversation, there was silence in the car. My cheeks were wet, partially from the raindrops still dripping off my rain hat, but there was another reason too. I was weeping silently with joy as I contemplated the great changes in attitude that have taken place in the years since my first two sons were born over thirty years ago and suffered massive brain injury due to lack of oxygen. After working with them for many years with little or no results, they had to be placed in an institution and I thought my world had come to an end. People did not speak about them in those days. It was a subject to be ignored, and we were very much alone. Now, thirty five years and many healthy, wonderful children later Boruch Hashem, I see, hear and read that it is a changed world. Our disabled children have emerged, and the subject is no longer taboo. There is sharing and caring out there. There is a greater understandin! g and acceptance, and even hands stretched out in assistance.
When we reached the outskirts of Boro Park the driver asked me for my address. I hastily gave an address some ten blocks away from my home and I got out of the van into the downpour that had not abated. I pulled down my rain hat discreetly and murmured a "good-night" keeping my head averted.
You see, dear reader, the lady sitting in the back of the van was scheduled to come meet my husband and myself at the end of the week to discuss the shidduch between our children, their son and our lovely daughter! Although I had heard wonderful things about her, I had never met her. My instincts, too, told me that this shidduch would come to fruition.
I did not want her to recognize me!
Anonymous.
P.S The children are now happily married and I never told my machateneste about that trip and the conversati! on I overheard on the van.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
The prescription
A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy -- I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy -- I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Do I have a Girl for You!
A shadchan corners a yeshiva bochur and says, "Do I have a girl for you!"
"Not interested," replies the bochur.
"But she's beautiful!"
"Yeah?" says the bochur.
"Yes. And she's very rich too."
"Really?"
"And she has great yichus! From a very fine family."
"Sounds great." says the bochur. "But why would a girl like that want to marry me? She'd have to be crazy."
Replies the shadchan, "Well, you can't have everything!"
"Not interested," replies the bochur.
"But she's beautiful!"
"Yeah?" says the bochur.
"Yes. And she's very rich too."
"Really?"
"And she has great yichus! From a very fine family."
"Sounds great." says the bochur. "But why would a girl like that want to marry me? She'd have to be crazy."
Replies the shadchan, "Well, you can't have everything!"
A true story about Positive Behavior
A Story for Valentine's Day By Jo Ann Larsen
Larry and Jo Ann were an ordinary couple. They lived in an ordinary house on an ordinary street. Like any other ordinary couple, they struggled to make ends meet and to do the right things for their children.
They were ordinary in yet another way — they had their squabbles. Much of their conversation concerned what was wrong in their marriage and who was to blame.
Until one day when a most extraordinary event took place.
"You know, Jo Ann, I've got a magic chest of drawers. Every time I open them, they're full of socks and underwear," Larry said. "I want to thank you for filling them all these years."
Jo Ann stared at her husband over the top of her glasses. "What do you want, Larry?"
"Nothing. I just want you to know I appreciate those magic drawers."
This wasn't the first time Larry had done something odd, so Jo Ann pushed the incident out of her mind until a few days later.
"Jo Ann, thank you for recording so many correct check numbers in the ledger this month. You put down the right numbers 15 out of 16 times. That's a record."
Disbelieving what she had heard, Jo Ann looked up from her mending. "Larry, you're always complaining about my recording the wrong check numbers. Why stop now?"
"No reason. I just wanted you to know I appreciate the effort you're making."
Jo Ann shook her head and went back to her mending. "What's got into him?" she mumbled to herself.
Nevertheless, the next day when Jo Ann wrote a check at the grocery store, she glanced at her checkbook to confirm that she had put down the right check number. "Why do I suddenly care about those dumb check numbers?" she asked herself.
She tried to disregard the incident, but Larry's strange behavior intensified.
"Jo Ann, that was a great dinner," he said one evening. "I appreciate all your effort. Why, in the past 15 years I'll bet you've fixed over 14,000 meals for me and the kids."
Then "Gee, Jo Ann, the house looks spiffy. You've really worked hard to get it looking so good." And even "Thanks, Jo Ann, for just being you. I really enjoy your company."
Jo Ann was growing worried. "Where's the sarcasm, the criticism?" she wondered.
Her fears that something peculiar was happening to her husband were confirmed by 16-year-old Shelly, who complained, "Dad's gone bonkers, Mom. He just told me I looked nice. With all this makeup and these sloppy clothes, he still said it. That's not Dad, Mom. What's wrong with him?"
Whatever was wrong, Larry didn't get over it. Day in and day out he continued focusing on the positive.
Over the weeks, Jo Ann grew more accustomed to her mate's unusual behavior and occasionally even gave him a grudging "Thank you." She prided herself on taking it all in stride, until one day something so peculiar happened, she became completely discombobulated:
"I want you to take a break," Larry said. "I am going to do the dishes. So please take your hands off that frying pan and leave the kitchen."
(Long, long pause.) "Thank you, Larry. Thank you very much!"
Jo Ann's step was now a little lighter, her self-confidence higher and once in a while she hummed. She didn't seem to have as many blue moods anymore. "I rather like Larry's new behavior," she thought.
That would be the end of the story except one day another most extraordinary event took place. This time it was Jo Ann who spoke.
"Larry," she said, "I want to thank you for going to work and providing for us all these years. I don't think I've ever told you how much I appreciate it."
Larry has never revealed the reason for his dramatic change of behavior no matter how hard Jo Ann has pushed for an answer, and so it will likely remain one of life's mysteries. But it's one I'm thankful to live with.
You see, I am Jo Ann.
Reprinted by permission of Jo Ann Larsen (c) 1992 from Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. In order to protect the rights of the copyright holder, no portion of this publication may be reproduced without prior written consent. All rights reserved.
Larry and Jo Ann were an ordinary couple. They lived in an ordinary house on an ordinary street. Like any other ordinary couple, they struggled to make ends meet and to do the right things for their children.
They were ordinary in yet another way — they had their squabbles. Much of their conversation concerned what was wrong in their marriage and who was to blame.
Until one day when a most extraordinary event took place.
"You know, Jo Ann, I've got a magic chest of drawers. Every time I open them, they're full of socks and underwear," Larry said. "I want to thank you for filling them all these years."
Jo Ann stared at her husband over the top of her glasses. "What do you want, Larry?"
"Nothing. I just want you to know I appreciate those magic drawers."
This wasn't the first time Larry had done something odd, so Jo Ann pushed the incident out of her mind until a few days later.
"Jo Ann, thank you for recording so many correct check numbers in the ledger this month. You put down the right numbers 15 out of 16 times. That's a record."
Disbelieving what she had heard, Jo Ann looked up from her mending. "Larry, you're always complaining about my recording the wrong check numbers. Why stop now?"
"No reason. I just wanted you to know I appreciate the effort you're making."
Jo Ann shook her head and went back to her mending. "What's got into him?" she mumbled to herself.
Nevertheless, the next day when Jo Ann wrote a check at the grocery store, she glanced at her checkbook to confirm that she had put down the right check number. "Why do I suddenly care about those dumb check numbers?" she asked herself.
She tried to disregard the incident, but Larry's strange behavior intensified.
"Jo Ann, that was a great dinner," he said one evening. "I appreciate all your effort. Why, in the past 15 years I'll bet you've fixed over 14,000 meals for me and the kids."
Then "Gee, Jo Ann, the house looks spiffy. You've really worked hard to get it looking so good." And even "Thanks, Jo Ann, for just being you. I really enjoy your company."
Jo Ann was growing worried. "Where's the sarcasm, the criticism?" she wondered.
Her fears that something peculiar was happening to her husband were confirmed by 16-year-old Shelly, who complained, "Dad's gone bonkers, Mom. He just told me I looked nice. With all this makeup and these sloppy clothes, he still said it. That's not Dad, Mom. What's wrong with him?"
Whatever was wrong, Larry didn't get over it. Day in and day out he continued focusing on the positive.
Over the weeks, Jo Ann grew more accustomed to her mate's unusual behavior and occasionally even gave him a grudging "Thank you." She prided herself on taking it all in stride, until one day something so peculiar happened, she became completely discombobulated:
"I want you to take a break," Larry said. "I am going to do the dishes. So please take your hands off that frying pan and leave the kitchen."
(Long, long pause.) "Thank you, Larry. Thank you very much!"
Jo Ann's step was now a little lighter, her self-confidence higher and once in a while she hummed. She didn't seem to have as many blue moods anymore. "I rather like Larry's new behavior," she thought.
That would be the end of the story except one day another most extraordinary event took place. This time it was Jo Ann who spoke.
"Larry," she said, "I want to thank you for going to work and providing for us all these years. I don't think I've ever told you how much I appreciate it."
Larry has never revealed the reason for his dramatic change of behavior no matter how hard Jo Ann has pushed for an answer, and so it will likely remain one of life's mysteries. But it's one I'm thankful to live with.
You see, I am Jo Ann.
Reprinted by permission of Jo Ann Larsen (c) 1992 from Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. In order to protect the rights of the copyright holder, no portion of this publication may be reproduced without prior written consent. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Judge OKs wall for splittin' spouses
Judge OKs wall for splittin' spouses
By JOTHAM SEDERSTROM DAILY NEWS WRITER
It's the "War of the Roses," Brooklyn-style.
A judge has ordered a soon-to-be divorced couple to live unhappily ever after in the Borough Park home they shared for 18 years - by having a wall built smack dab in the middle of their dining room.
Millionaire sweater manufacturer Simon Taub was granted permission during divorce proceedings in August to divide the home with sheetrock walls, so he wouldn't have to relinquish it to wife, Chana Taub.
Simon, 57, would have his own kitchen, bedroom and bathroom in a 900-square-foot area on two floors of the 49th St. home.
"I don't wish this on anybody," said Chana Taub, 56, whose husband owns homes across the borough, including the house next door. "I hope God will help, and somebody will straighten out this whole thing."
Chana Taub has appealed Judge Sarah Krauss' ruling. But if the decision is upheld, the former lovebirds could be walking into the same home, divided in two - just like in the 1989 film starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner.
The wall drama began in August when Krauss granted the wife an order of protection against Simon Taub, who owns TechKnits Inc. of Williamsburg.
But citing the husband's heart condition, Krauss approved his bid to build the wall, saying, "I am not going to be excluding him entirely from his home.
"The best way to deal with this is to split the home," Krauss said, according to court documents - even though the husband owns the house next door.
Krauss, who recused herself in December following objections from Chana Taub's attorney, Susan Settenbrino, also offered a court-mandated outline for postmatrimonial bliss.
"Neither party shall interfere with any of the electrical, plumbing, phones or other systems located in their respective portions of the marital residence," Krauss wrote.
"No litigant should have to endure this kind of abuse," Settenbrino said of Krauss' decision. "There should be recourse for such orders without having to spend $200,000 [on the appeal]."
Simon Taub's attorney, Frank Snitow, said the wall would separate portions of two floors, but only give about 25% of the home to his client.
Snitow cited the home's proximity to Simon's doctor's office, a nearby synagogue and his four kids, two of whom still live in the house with his wife. "I don't think it's an extraordinary measure under these circumstances," he said. "This is one of the largest homes in Borough Park. You could even call it a mansion."
Talk about messed up. IMHO all the way from the judge, lawyer, to the participants this is about revenge and all.
Hashem should help us all.
By JOTHAM SEDERSTROM DAILY NEWS WRITER
It's the "War of the Roses," Brooklyn-style.
A judge has ordered a soon-to-be divorced couple to live unhappily ever after in the Borough Park home they shared for 18 years - by having a wall built smack dab in the middle of their dining room.
Millionaire sweater manufacturer Simon Taub was granted permission during divorce proceedings in August to divide the home with sheetrock walls, so he wouldn't have to relinquish it to wife, Chana Taub.
Simon, 57, would have his own kitchen, bedroom and bathroom in a 900-square-foot area on two floors of the 49th St. home.
"I don't wish this on anybody," said Chana Taub, 56, whose husband owns homes across the borough, including the house next door. "I hope God will help, and somebody will straighten out this whole thing."
Chana Taub has appealed Judge Sarah Krauss' ruling. But if the decision is upheld, the former lovebirds could be walking into the same home, divided in two - just like in the 1989 film starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner.
The wall drama began in August when Krauss granted the wife an order of protection against Simon Taub, who owns TechKnits Inc. of Williamsburg.
But citing the husband's heart condition, Krauss approved his bid to build the wall, saying, "I am not going to be excluding him entirely from his home.
"The best way to deal with this is to split the home," Krauss said, according to court documents - even though the husband owns the house next door.
Krauss, who recused herself in December following objections from Chana Taub's attorney, Susan Settenbrino, also offered a court-mandated outline for postmatrimonial bliss.
"Neither party shall interfere with any of the electrical, plumbing, phones or other systems located in their respective portions of the marital residence," Krauss wrote.
"No litigant should have to endure this kind of abuse," Settenbrino said of Krauss' decision. "There should be recourse for such orders without having to spend $200,000 [on the appeal]."
Simon Taub's attorney, Frank Snitow, said the wall would separate portions of two floors, but only give about 25% of the home to his client.
Snitow cited the home's proximity to Simon's doctor's office, a nearby synagogue and his four kids, two of whom still live in the house with his wife. "I don't think it's an extraordinary measure under these circumstances," he said. "This is one of the largest homes in Borough Park. You could even call it a mansion."
Talk about messed up. IMHO all the way from the judge, lawyer, to the participants this is about revenge and all.
Hashem should help us all.
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